Having a hard time this year

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11 years 6 months ago #33600 by daerfamily
Sorry rant here.

Everything seems to be costing us a fortune currently. We are maxed out on the mortgage, have been here for a year nearly. We seem to have bad luck. This year both of our cars needed a new engine (mine was $3000 DHs was $6500 as its a great big diesel one) .. the well pump went, the people we bought the house off never got the filters done on septic etc ... that bill arrived today it blew the pants off me - $400 later ...

Dh owes tax as last year he didn't pay enough so that has to be paid by feb (1200) .... my son turns 5 the week before christmas ... I have to find the money to pay the septic tank man ... my credit card is at 3k ... my husbands credit card is at 3k ... my car needed new tyres last week unexpectedly .... the baleage man needs paying ... (which I have money for!) ... everything just seems to be against us right now.

Is there ever going to be a way out?! DH gets a mean salary, we have 3 children, a cat, chickens and cows ... we can't seem to get by on $260/week food .... petrol is about $220 a week for us as DH is driving 70km/day to work .... the mortgage takes away $608/week ..... everyday living just seems to be getting out of control and when the school continually asks me for a 'donation' I just have to say no!

We need our luck to change otherwise we'll be goners.

Rant over.

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11 years 6 months ago #445387 by Deanna
Replied by Deanna on topic Having a hard time this year
Sometimes it's good to have a rant. I have said a prayer for you that you will see blessings, hope you don't mind.

25 acres, 1400 Blue Gums, Wiltshire sheep, 5 steers, 2 cows, ducks, chickens, bees, dog, cats, retired, 1 husband and 3 grandkids.

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11 years 6 months ago #445388 by Trace
Replied by Trace on topic Having a hard time this year
It just sucks when it hits you all at once. Here's hoping your luck changes and next year is a better one for you.

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11 years 6 months ago #445393 by trixie
Replied by trixie on topic Having a hard time this year
Hi - Hard to see the light sometimes isn't it ?!! Some ideas to ponder - For your son's birthday, do a "bring a blanket and picnic basket" party in a paddock. ( People don't mind bringing their own honestly !! ) For games, do old fashioned three legged race, egg and spoon etc. Make frames out of old wire and put a fifty-fifty mix of detergent and water in old plastic containers and see who can make the biggest/funniest bubbles in the paddock. Ask a family/friend who is helpful to make the birthday cake as their present to him. That just leaves his present, go to the Salvation Army Shop or Hospice shop - surprisingly they quite often have brand new toys still in their boxes for next to nothing. :)

Re mortgage, go talk to your bank, can you maybe take a three month holiday and only pay the interest to help tide you through this time ? With the interest rates so competitive, they may come up with something - can't hurt to talk.
Same with IRD, talk to them, ask for repayment schedule - so much a week - they can only say no. Take heart, you will muddle through :D

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11 years 6 months ago #445402 by drifter
Rant away we've all, often enough, been there.
One year we had a year like yours :( and did the 'party in the paddock' for our 7 year old son. It was the most enjoyed and talked about party for young people that year. Even now I get great big young men :D telling me about the awesome party where they slid on old real estate signs down the hill :)

Without knowing your personal circumstances, I can't guarantee it will get better, but if it helps... most people I know have a year like that, when it feels as though the wheels have fallen off and the brakes have failed on life,
Bills seem to dog-pile and you struggle to see how you will get through :(

But we do :)
My advice which is worth what you paid for it[;)]: Tackle one bill at a time, pay off the smallest first (gives you a sense of achievement) pay your small business people and negotiate with the big companies like IRD, Telecom etc. They deal with hundreds of people every year needing to reschedule payments, it's no big deal to them. The credit card companies will also accept payment options but will freeze your card while you do it.

Most importantly rejoice in the lifestyle you and your kids have :D

Strange how much you've got to know, Before you know how little you know.

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11 years 6 months ago #445403 by HarryPotter
It is good to get things off your chest. I know firsthand what financial stress can cause. The bills and credit card/mortgage debt can appear insurmountable at times.

We have been incredibly blessed by the wonderful support from a whole host of people and we have now come through the thick of it. It leaves one humbled and having a greater sense of how the universe works.

The first suggestion I can make to you is that communicate with those who you owe money to. The bank and IRD would be key people to communicate with. They are not the hideous monsters sitting in ivory towers that some would make out. They do like to be communicated with and will generally work with you rather than against you. :D Don't be scared to actually ask for a case worker, or a person that you get to know by name rather than speak to a different person each time you call. Communicate by email also so there is always a paper trail as such.

Other creditors also like to know that they will be paid eventually but many are all too aware of the difficult times many people are facing today. Many are more than happy to receive say $50.00 a week rather than nothing at all. A $400.00 bill may be easier for you to pay over eight weeks rather than one big payment. Once again I cannot over emphasize the need for communication.

The birthday ideas suggested already are wonderful. Wow! If I was five I would love a picnic. Does a five year old really worry about bags of favours at the end of the party? Remember the days when we left a friends party with a piece of birthday cake wrapped up in a napkin? :D

Try not to get disheartened and try and attempt to reverse your mindset. Try not to focus on your debt but focus on all the wealth you have. Write down a positive affirmation and post it to your mirror and repeat it several times a day. It works!!! Believe me.

From personal experience, whatever you do, never loose sight of what really matters in your life, your children and husband and your own health. Everything else is material. Ensure you are all on the same page and united in your goal. Take time as a family to have a walk together, collect the eggs together, plant a garden. Take time to celebrate what you have and you will feel energised.

I am also sending you good wishes and luck. Best wishes. :)

Sharing the pad with Harry the Australian Terrorist, Penny the Bearded Collie, Bev the Schnauzer/beardie and her daughters Nellie and Charlotte. (Dad was a Hungarian Vizsla) + lots of chooks. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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11 years 6 months ago #445409 by Kiwi303
Rants sure help, thats one of the nice things about here, lots of moral support when the brown sticky stuff hits the rotating aero impeller.

I vented when the school I was at closed without paying me, leaving me in the hole here.

Just agreed a new contract 5 minutes ago and am browsing the forums and email before heading off to print, sign, scan and send back the files, then gotta get ready to fly out to Ningbo airport from CQ airport this friday morning.

You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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11 years 6 months ago #445417 by max2
Replied by max2 on topic Having a hard time this year
I would like to also confirm the fact we have all walked that track and still do. Times are certainly tough out there, we had ''one of those talks'' just this morning about how much harder it seems to be despite continuous good paying work.

But getting back to the lifestyle you live idea, I rejoice in the fact of the good things that happen.

I made myself a promise a wee while back and that was not to wake up thinking of things that shouldn't be thought of as you try to go back to sleep. Day to day stuff, work shite etc. Its a hard act to get out of, but when you realise its going through your head at the times you should be resting, then you work hard at getting it out and finding your ''holiday'' spot to relax and drift off again.

I'm probably talking shite here but it works for me. but as long as you know you are not on your own with this one..... :)

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11 years 6 months ago #445418 by llvonn
Replied by llvonn on topic Having a hard time this year
Re special activities - for kids, a midnight picnic. Due to bedtimes this can often be viewed as something special - being out in the country you get the advantage of little light pollution which makes the wonder of the stars something really special. Also, I have found that games like treasure hunts can be entertaining - just takes time to think up the clues and dot them around the property. The treasure was a small bag with some stickers (cut out from a stick on wall freeze), a balloon and a few lollies - 1 for each child.

Also letting you kids know that money is tight can help. When I was little my mother got her entire pay out in $1 notes. Physically showed us how much was spent on rent, power, car, etc. We had $3 left - we didn't ask for items when we went out. We grew up really poor, but my Mum made sure we got an education, lots of books often from the library and a loving family.

1 Border Terrier, 5 hens, 5 chicks, an orchard and vege garden. All on 350 square metres.

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11 years 6 months ago #445422 by Althea from Middelmost
I think the key thing here is that you are not on your own. Lots of us are the same. Take courage and think ... most people you mingle with will not know how bad things are so you don't need to work too hard on the brave face. You are blessed with your honesty - probably half the country feels like you do but won't admit it. I am impressed with the way you have given many fellow strugglers the opportunity to offer such wonderful and wise advice ... and it has given me a humble feeling about my column "When the Shoestring's a Bit Short". Thankyou.

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11 years 6 months ago #445425 by kai
Replied by kai on topic Having a hard time this year
sympathies, at the moment we are doing OK, but everytime we get some extra money in, there is extra money to pay out. Since reading this post, the dishwasher has started making a noise that says its days are numbered and we are digging up the soak away pit dreading what we find, because we already know it probably didn't even conform to the regs back in the 60s when it was put in.
However I have always been "tight" with money so I know we are never in deeper than we can't dig ourselves out in a few months, but until my new career takes off, I worry constantly about money.

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11 years 6 months ago #445450 by Kilmoon
Shit happens. You can worry about it and make yourself sick thinking about all the things that can go wrong....or you can raise the middle finger to life and just get on with doing.

Kids are overrated, sit em down and say the good times have ended, they want stuff they have to find the paper/junk mail run to earn it. If they throw tantys smack em round the head and welcome them to the rest of their life as a wage-debt slave.

Talk to those you owe money to, work out a payment plan. Go to bank and explore other options.....

...and one of those is to walk away, sell up, get out of debt and then start again.

One thing that really struck me was the food bill...thats a shit load, sorry but mum fed 11 of us kids on roughly that amount so you need to change to no brand pkts, porridge for dinner, and eat the chickens and cows that aren't producing....and if the kids cry about 'pets' you give them a choice: pets or canned pet food for dinner (and for those of you that stick up your noses at eating canned pet meat - I can remember helping mum take the labels off and putting beef strog ones on before we bought groceries in from the car. What you don't know doesn't kill you).

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11 years 6 months ago #445453 by reggit
Replied by reggit on topic Having a hard time this year
Sometimes a rant helps [;)] as others have said, we have all been there, with our 'annus horribilus' or two or three...all I can say from my experience is tackle one thing at a time, prioritise...and as my granny used to say, a penny saved is a penny earned, in fact more if you really go into it...any economies you can make will help, and usually you can find something even if you don't think you can at first glance.

Let the kids know that things are tight. My parents used to when we were in tight spots when I was growing up, and it helped us in later life understand that when the going gets tough, its needs must rather than wants that are important...

Kia kaha, hang in there :)

Take a break...while I take care of your home, your block, your pets, your stock! [;)] PM me...

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11 years 6 months ago #445454 by kate
Replied by kate on topic Having a hard time this year
Don't apologise for ranting, it's good to let it out sometimes! We had the financial year from hell last year and completely cancelled Christmas, which is easy when there are no children involved. We're still digging ourselves out of the hole but things are a lot better than they were.

As others have said, talk to the bank and IRD, they're not monsters (most of them) and they know that times are hard.

Take time to count your blessings and sit in the sunshine and enjoy the view....life is good :D

Web Goddess

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11 years 6 months ago #445458 by Blueberry
we had the year from hell a few years ago; the berry harvest had not been good that year, either, so cash was already in short supply. My car rosted down, the replacement I crashed 6 weeks later. the septic tank clogged up and had to be emptied. The water tank got septic due to a rabbit finding its way in, had to be drained, cleaned - and of course we had 2 weeks of sunshine after that. Just to be on the safe side, we also replaced the UV light and filters of the water filter system ($540). We had to get a revolving credit, maxed out the credit card, went without buying groceries for weeks (lucky us, we have most of our food on property).

but that year, we got to the bottom of our freezers, enlarged the vege garden even more, so have now more growing space and are able to supply vege to the market, and we have learned that we can survive without external input for months.

i am now much more relaxed about having a bad stretch, because i know we can survive.

Daerfamily; has your hubby the opportunity to car-share for the way to work - even if it's just part of the way?

i do that now 2 or 3 times a week, and every day don't have to take my car to work, i save $12

[;)] Blueberry
treading lightly on mother earth

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