Forum Rules update?

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13 years 3 months ago #361902 by kate
Replied by kate on topic Forum Rules update?
Firstly, let me say that I back Jen completely in her response to Isla's thead. If the thead had just been a fresh topic then of course it wouldn't have been locked, but it was a response to a thread that had become very heated and personal and that I'd locked.

I understand Isla wanting to reply to a direct implication that she was somehow at fault, but the 'reply' had the potential to just take over from the previous thread. It's happened before [}:)]

It's very heartening to hear some of you supporting the site, we try to keep moderation to a minimum and are more flexible than many other boards. I am aware that the forums are the heart of the site and the people who contribute to the forums are the reason this site is as successful as it is [8D][8D]

Everyone is different, we all have different experiences and views but in the main we're a very supportive and helpful community. As has been said, it's easy to read meaning into something which it was not intended to mean.

If I could help with humidity or winning numbers I would...trust me[8D]

Cheers
Kate

Web Goddess

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13 years 3 months ago #361905 by Isla
Replied by Isla on topic Forum Rules update?
Some of us, from a particular timeframe, before English education went to pot - and I'm only just on the edge of that time anyway, I suspect - were taught to express ourselves carefully, in English, without smiley extras. But, and here is the crux of the matter I suspect, as I wrote earlier: using language in that way tends to sound more formal than general, friendly chat might. That doesn't mean the intention is any less generous, friendly, or helpful. I cannot, however much I try, write in a jovial lax sort of way. I touch-type and I type just about as fast as anyone talks. I write for a living and for pleasure.

The comments on the condescending, lecturing (I'm paraphrasing) manner of some of our posts is very possibly your interpretation of an ordinary communication from someone with a different writing style from your own. I personally find careless spelling and inattention to grammar and punctuation very trying, but generally try to read through that to the intent of the post. Sometimes I give up, but unless the poster is obviously an idiot, there could be a gem of wisdom in there I need. Actually even some idiots have taught me things. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular!

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13 years 3 months ago #361950 by Gracelands
Replied by Gracelands on topic Forum Rules update?
I belong to one forum where the rules specifically forbid using the word "um." On the grounds that it usually means you are about to get argumentative with someone. "Um, I think you'll find that that's a load of hogwash" Or whatever.

So just using words like "um", and "I think" to soften your post doesn't help if the general intent was to start or continue an argument.

This forum is a lot less strict than that, and occasionally things go too far. And then things get shut down, and then we debate it endlessly for days. :) All part of being a large boisterous family, as far as I can see.

"Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
Hans Christian Anderson

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13 years 3 months ago #361954 by Lea2109
Replied by Lea2109 on topic Forum Rules update?
For somebody like me knowing absolutely nothing and who is really keen to learn because I'm hoping to someday own my own LSB, this place has been an extremely valuable place to get lots of information even when I might ask dumb / stupid questions. And I have always found everybody so incredibly helpful when a question is asked (even if it was asked before). I don't come from a farming background so it is often incredibly daunting to try and figure out where to start. On here (for example) I have learned why keeping a ram is probably bad news and how dangerous they can be, I've learned about the way people have done their veggie gardens and other options other than raised gardens, I've learned a bit about some of the rules out there i.e. when somebody is sharing a driveway (or something like that). And learning from actual experiences from different people, offers way more than just reading articles in some book.

Please can we all move on from the particular topics that became so incredibly heated. There will be some who agree, there will be some who disagree. But each one of you (regardless of your opinion) has something to offer people like me, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

I left another forum not so long ago because that was all that ever happened in the end. One argument after another after another and after a while people just argued for the sake of arguing despite what it was initially about. I would hate to see this place become the same way.

I for one appreciate everybody's opinions on this forum. So I just want to say thank you!

You can't choose what happens in life, but you can choose how you handle it.

Our blog: livinglifenowinkiwiland.blogspot.com

Our Advent Calendar Project: livinglifenowinkiwilandcountdown.blogspot.com


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13 years 3 months ago #361977 by Organix
Replied by Organix on topic Forum Rules update?

Isla;352737 wrote: Some of us, from a particular timeframe, before English education went to pot - and I'm only just on the edge of that time anyway, I suspect - were taught to express ourselves carefully, in English, without smiley extras. But, and here is the crux of the matter I suspect, as I wrote earlier: using language in that way tends to sound more formal than general, friendly chat might. That doesn't mean the intention is any less generous, friendly, or helpful. I cannot, however much I try, write in a jovial lax sort of way. I touch-type and I type just about as fast as anyone talks. I write for a living and for pleasure.

The comments on the condescending, lecturing (I'm paraphrasing) manner of some of our posts is very possibly your interpretation of an ordinary communication from someone with a different writing style from your own. I personally find careless spelling and inattention to grammar and punctuation very trying, but generally try to read through that to the intent of the post. Sometimes I give up, but unless the poster is obviously an idiot, there could be a gem of wisdom in there I need. Actually even some idiots have taught me things. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular!

At the risk of wandering off topic I consider Isla's post absolutely spot on. The 'questionable' writing (and reading) skills of many members on this forum is often the cause of misunderstandings and unintended offence being taken by others. Written words on a computer monitor are probably the most easily misinterpretted communication method we use, devoid as it is of speech inflections, facial expressions or situational context. The lack of precise writing skills many of us possess makes this method of conversing an absolute minefield :eek:

And then there are the few single minded posters whose primary intent is to troll. I find it best to ignore such posts as I have better things to do with my time than try to untwist their distorted view of their world.

This is in no way restricted to LSB and in comparison the banter on this site is very tame compared to some of the out and out sh*t fights that I encounter on a couple of other forums I belong to. I'm also guessing that the tensions of the holiday season and the effects of hot days and nights are also contributing to the bitchiness that has come to the fore recently on LSB :rolleyes:

Harm Less Solutions.co.nz
NZ & AU distributor of Eco Wood Treatment stains and Bambu Dru bamboo fabrics and clothing

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13 years 3 months ago #361980 by sod
Replied by sod on topic Forum Rules update?
Organix very well put thank you I majored in English but my computer can't spell and leaves things out also sometimes I find my brain gets way ahead of my fingers so end up putting things in a way I really didn't mean at all :D :D As for putting faces etc. Some times I think it helps to help show how a person was meaning something.

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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13 years 3 months ago #361986 by Dream Weaver
Replied by Dream Weaver on topic Forum Rules update?

bev;352614 wrote: bunch of ****ing pansies, has no one got a back bone these days??

Merely musing as just skimming through BUT HAD to post as Bev I never ever realised ya into your gardening!!!!!!!!! i mean hell you KNOW what a Pansie is :p I am impressed

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13 years 3 months ago #361990 by Cinsara
Replied by Cinsara on topic Forum Rules update?

DiDi;352660 wrote: For example, I have come on here this evening and thought a couple of Cinsara's postings were "patronising" but shrugged my shoulders and thought "Doubt that was intended"

Correct - the doubt that was intended, not the patronising bit :D :D :D I'm playing devils advocate here really, personally if I think someone is being a know-it-all I just think sheesh what a knowall, (sometimes I can keep my mouth shut and sometimes I can't) but I am imagining how those comments must come across to the newer people on the site and judging by some of their reactions they are offended. The "no your wrong and I'm right because I have 65 years of experience on the subject" doesn't seem to come across well.

Sue has it down pat IMO, she has huge experience in her moo and cluck fields but has a way of taking the time to explain to "us idiots" that doesn't make less experienced people feel spoken down to. Patience of a Saint [^]

>

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!

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13 years 3 months ago #362007 by Rata
Replied by Rata on topic Forum Rules update?
Good thread, great forum! I've been trying to dredge back into my pre-retirement mind to remember a basic communication rule, and the one I've come up with is the distinction between "I" language and "you" language. When we say "I think" we're speaking from our own point of view, and it's easy to take that as such. When we say (or imply) "you seem", we're making a judgement about "you", to which you're quite entitled to take offence. So I try and stick to I language, and it isn't that if I say "I think you seem..."

The third, and best way of course, is the simple statement of factual information, and, as Cinsara says, Sue takes the prize for that. (I think : ))

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13 years 3 months ago #362026 by Akupe
Replied by Akupe on topic Forum Rules update?
This is all pretty funny seeing as this has to be one of tamest forums ever!

No emotion in the written word causes all sorts of conflicts on message boards. The idea with a forum is to get differing opinons and you can't please everyone all the time. This site is well yet not 'over' moderated. I moderate a couple of forums that are polls apart to this one and ones things for sure your never going to keep everyone happy.

3.8 ha ... 2 homestays ... 19 sheep ... 1 kune kune pig ... 3 cats ... 1 rabbit and a wife and 2 kids under 14 years old. Plus a full time job in Wellington. Phew!!!

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13 years 3 months ago #362027 by Denneaux
Replied by Denneaux on topic Forum Rules update?
"The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right."

Hannah Whitall Smith, 1902

Unless stated, the above post is not meant as criticism.

Go back and read it again in your HAPPY voice!

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13 years 3 months ago #362028 by Denneaux
Replied by Denneaux on topic Forum Rules update?
Just wanted to try out my new signature :D . Should keep me out of trouble!

Unless stated, the above post is not meant as criticism.

Go back and read it again in your HAPPY voice!

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13 years 3 months ago #362029 by Sue
Replied by Sue on topic Forum Rules update?

Sue has it down pat IMO, she has huge experience in her moo and cluck fields but has a way of taking the time to explain to "us idiots" that doesn't make less experienced people feel spoken down to. Patience of a Saint [^]
__________________


Phew, I started to answer one of the chicken feed threads earlier and then wiped it again because someones comments-and I can't remember who, mentioned about some advice sounding patronising and talking down imagining everyone was idiots!
So I scrubbed it as I thought it might have been about me!!!

I probably am guilty of trying to bring things down to simple language, mainly because I know from experience that not everyone has the benefit of a technical or scientific background and the only way to explain a process is to explain in over simplified terms!

I think there are a lot of multi talented peoiple on here, in all related rural topics and technical fields-I'm thinking of the huge computer assistance I have had from the IT people on here to someone who has had to pick it up in their advancing years!

Long may the forum continue and not lose a lot of valuable input from everyone on here, especially many of the newbies who are signing on these days and are probably too scared to post now.

I like to think Spooks little quote, "the only bad question is the one that is never asked" or words to that effect should be emblazoned across thetop of the forum somewhere!

Sue
Labrador lover for yonks, breeder of pedigree Murray Grey cattle for almost as long, and passionate poultry person for more years than I care to count.

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13 years 3 months ago #362039 by max2
Replied by max2 on topic Forum Rules update?
I wonder though what feeling senior posters have been left with and whether they feel they should ever bother replying at all, in fear (for want of a better word) of being seen to be preaching or attacking another member because of an answer?

For an example, in another thread 2 posts in the past 24 hours have been deleted by Isla that could have been very useful hints to someone else.

This forum needs its members to participate actively and productively but to also accept that we will/may be wrong or have others disagree with our posts from time to time. We have to stop taking it personally and keep our toys in the cot, so to speak.

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13 years 3 months ago #362043 by 3scoremiles10
Replied by 3scoremiles10 on topic Forum Rules update?
I probably am guilty of trying to bring things down to simple language, mainly because I know from experience that not everyone has the benefit of a technical or scientific background and the only way to explain a process is to explain in over simplified terms!

As far as I'm concerned Sue that's rubbish. You do an absolutely brilliant job of explaining things, and I have learnt so much from your answers to my and many other peoples questions that I have found in the archives! I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time and having the patience to explain things, and I am sure I am not the only one. Never once in all the threads I've read have you appeared the least bit condescending.

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