Feeding Children

A question to all those parents out there, but particularly to those of preschoolers.. Do your children eat what you eat and when you eat? I have been alarmed lately at the number of my friends and colleagues that have similar aged children to mine (4) who give them cereal for dinner, or toast. They say they won't eat adult food, its chips and nuggets or cereal for dinner [:0]. This is wrong surely, children need a variety of food[?] In saying that I was a terribly fussy child, but I was never allowed to not at least eat a little bit of food on my plate and certainly never given something other than mum was having. The reason i ask? Well I was hoping that my son could have a friend to stay in the holidays (ex-neighbours now moved up north), but apparently she eats nothing and has peanut butter toast for dinner. No way will my husband put up with that, and i don't want my little man being set a bad example... Leaves me thinking, am I the only mother who has a child who asks for olives and cheese for afternoon tea?? He is by no means an angel and can eat junk with the best of them mind![}]

My daughter decided at the age of three that she wanted to be a vegetarian (She's now 20, still vegetarian and healthy). The agreement I made with her at that time, was that if she was going to be a vegetarian she had to be particularly careful about eating a balanced diet. As a result I don't think there was anything which wasn't meat that she didn't eat.

But I can see that it's a bit of a dilemma for you. Maybe you could explain the problem to the parents of the friend - and say that if she came to stay she would have to eat what the rest of the family was eating (for the reasons that you've said above - which appear to me entirely reasonable). They could maybe come to an agreement with their daughter - if she really wants to come and stay with you - she'll agree. If she doesn't agree she doesn't come. Of course, you hold her to it when she's with you (and you ensure you have the parents' back up if necessary).

It might end up doing your ex-neighbours a great favour!

Being an expert in these matters [}] NOT! But I have observed two sets of nephews, one set of which eat what they are given and love fresh fruit and veges, and the others who only eat junk if anything at all [:0].

Seems to be what the parents have started them with from day one of eating stuff and their consistency/firmness in 'you eat what you are given or not at all'.

Gawd, cereal and toast - how the heck does a growing kid stay healthy on that??

no that is not normal. at the worst it is lazy parenting, but most likely a lack of strategies. we have 'issues' every meal time, have had for 7 years and will for the next 20 most likely. dont like this, dont want that. they should eat what is in front of them with the rest of the family. it is important that they at least try one mouthful of everything. i could go on and on, but i am sure if you use your normal strategies with this kid as you do with your own, he will at least try some of your cooking. if he doesnt then he hasnt been taught manners either so i would think seriously about encouraging freindship with your child. then again im a tyrant at the table!

How odd, My daughter eats what we eat mostly, although she did go for a few years where she wouldn't eat anything with cheese in it, but that has passed now. She has also been known to ask for broccoli and cauliflower for afternoon tea sometimes.

Maybe just for fun, you could make that day a backwards eating day, so you have the meals the wrong way round, that way it would be OK to have cereal for breakfast, as long as you had your main meal earlier in the day.

We sometimes have days when we only eat pies, amazing how many different versions of a pie you can come up with to make it all seem right for the meal. Also we sometimes have a backwards meal, with desert first and the main last. This is not all the time, but just for fun sometimes.

We were just discussing the other night about when we started eating with our little man (you forget so fast), but I think he was between 2 1/2 and 3 - before then he needed feeding early and went to bed by 7pm sharp. As he as gotten older he has stretched his bedtime out to 7.30 amd started eating with us, and indeed what we eat, unless its curry, then he has a 'special dinner', we like our curries hot and its not fair to expect him to eat it. It's pretty much always a battle and he finishes way after everyone else, and we end up doing deals, but at least he tries everything! I like the idea of doing a deal with her about eating what we eat, or not staying, nearly 5 year old girls are into that sort of thing....
cheers guys!

We've bought our three up with a broad and varied diet. Ask them what their favourites are and you'll get a range from the obscure (olives and blue cheese ) to the home made meatballs and spaghetti to fish pie. The oldest is nearly seven and the youngest 3, never any complaints at the dinner table and no real dislikes between them.

I would say nothing to the parents or the child staying, treat it as any other dinnertime with your child's favourite dinner maybe. You might be surprised at what kids eat when away from their parents My kids ate at a friends recently, not something they're used and nothing whacky but they were happy to eat it and please the parent

Yep its all about what the Parents and caregivers give them.. How else would they have developed a palate to choose otherwise?

A lot of parents and grandparents deserve to be shot, or highly taxed for a health related cost later in life when the kids have gone full blown diabetes from skulling 125 ml bottles of lemonade at 4 years old!

Get both kids to help prepare and cook the meal. She may even suprise you by eating at your house anyway, but give it a try with getting them to help etc.

You could get them to help you prepare a picnic dinner and have it somewhere other than the dinner table, stick a blanket on the floor or even have it outside if the weather is kind. That way you can have lots of finger food and bite sized bits. It'll be a treat for both of them and may take your little guests mind off what she usually gets for dinner. Not only that, the guest may see your tot eating something and want to give it a go. You never know.

We always ate what was in front on us, or were made to just try it.
This can backfire on the parents though. After screwing my nose up at mushrooms Dad was eating. He verbally leapt on me and told me I shouldn't say "Euuuw" at other peoples food, especially if I hadn't tried it. He suggested I try some of his field mushrooms on toast. Silly man, from then on he had to share his pickings. Eh eh eh
The neighbour did something similar with his kids and a shell fish of some kind. Turned out they loved them, now he has to get in quick or miss out.

Yakut

I have 3 eaters who will try anything, and one 'fussy'. Truth is, he had sensory issues and part of that included he would gag and retch on alot of foods, so for dinner was a meat and potato boy and that was about it.

He is now almost 8 and the strategy we use and was recommended is: We introduce foods not at meal times (so meal times are not associated with stress) For strong tasting foods, he gets to sniff it, then just put it on his tongue. He is now much more open to foods. We do have rules such as morning tea is a piece of fruit and he gets to choose which piece of fruit it is. He now proudly shows us his plate when he has finished something and we do make a fuss. He tries just about everything, (but still gags and retches at certain foods)

I have a friend whose son had sensory issues also. He was also obsessed with the number 5. So I put foods on the table in lots of five, and he tried things he hadn't tried before !!

I gotta admit, as I have friends with children who have different kind of issues, I would go with the flow, BUT at the same time offer the child what we are having. Sometimes kids are more prepared to try something at a friend's house.

Are the parents expecting you to give the child toast or is it on the understanding you will be giving her what you eat?

Mine ate what we eat from the time they stopped eating mushy baby food, and went onto proper solids. Waste of time cooking separate meals. Lucky they were never fussy.

My niece and nephew are completely different, and I know where still having baby food as a way to get something healthing into them up until 4! They had lots of reflux issues - though I still think its about how the parent deals with it, and what is easiest for the parent to do.

I didn't do anything the "easy" way. Real nappies on twins - good insentive to get them potty trained!

From experience I am sure that she will eat more at your place than she does at home.
When our kids were little and we were wanting a spicy meal I always cooked the meat first and added a small amount of seasoning to it and kept it aside then added the extra spices for us and gradually added more to theirs as time went on and their palate changed.[^]
I know it is very annoying when kids won't try stuff but when you see the over processed muck that alot are reared on it is hardly suprising .
Their has been a recent survey done and it shoed that kids will eat a lot more stuff if it is in a Mc D's wrapper or box ! Scary eh.[:0]

There is far too much choice of food these days..
My sisters children, who are now in their early 20's, lived mainly on yoghurt, dried fruit and 2 minute noodles when they were pre-schoolers. She was not a lazy mother, they just wouldnt eat anything else. Now, as adults, they are really good eaters of most things, both go to the gym & are fit & healthy.

Kids do seem to eat/behave better at other peoples houses. Mini LF was weaned on proper food, to a point in an emergency we offered him a jar of Heinz Spag Bol (his fave) and he refused it!!!!