Childfree couples needed for masters research

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14 years 9 months ago #852 by reggit
Just been interviewed as part of a masters study into childfree (not childless ;)) couples in the Hamilton area, and the student doing this study needs three more couples to complete her full 'quota'. Anyone out there who is interested in taking part? Email me from your profile if you are, and I will give you her contact details.

:D

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  • Toni - Northland
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14 years 9 months ago #51331 by Toni - Northland
Replied by Toni - Northland on topic Childfree couples needed for masters research

quote:Originally posted by tigger

Just been interviewed as part of a masters study into childfree (not childless ;)) couples in the Hamilton area, and the student doing this study needs three more couples to complete her full 'quota'. Anyone out there who is interested in taking part? Email me from your profile if you are, and I will give you her contact details.
:D

What's the difference between childless and childfree. Aren't they one and the same??

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14 years 9 months ago #51335 by Isla
Childfree is a term those of us who choose that status tend to use. Childless implies a lack, which is not accurate. In your world that may be something unacceptable because you may not understand, but it is the way it is for many of us.

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14 years 9 months ago #51336 by reggit
Not in my book, Toni. I have friends who are childless and are desperately trying to get preggers. Hubby and I have chosen not to have kids, to me that's childfree (by choice). We don't feel we are lacking (-less) anything :). It's a term that's being used a lot more to differentiate between these two sets of circumstances.

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14 years 9 months ago #51338 by Toni - Northland
Replied by Toni - Northland on topic Childfree couples needed for masters research

quote:Originally posted by Isla

Childfree is a term those of us who choose that status tend to use. Childless implies a lack, which is not accurate. In your world that may be something unacceptable because you may not understand, but it is the way it is for many of us.

Childless to me does not imply a lack at all. Anyway, lack of what. Just wondered why the other term is used. There is no need to get edgy Isla, I only asked. I never said it was unacceptable.

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14 years 9 months ago #51346 by Isla
Toni, experience here tells me that you're often strongly judgemental about things outside of your own experience, that was all. Being a grandmother who often discusses her children and theirs, I suspected this might be one of those issues.

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14 years 9 months ago #51348 by reggit
It's an interesting divide, Toni. To me there are clear distinctions between the two.

Those who can't have kids are often viewed with pity and handled with kid gloves.

Those of us who chose not to have kids are often poked and prodded as to our reasons why, even though they may be very personal, and judged as being immature or selfish in some way because of our choice.

I am really interested to see the outcomes of this research. I suspect that there will be a lot of commonalities of experience amongst those interviewed, and am glad that someone is using this as a research opportunity that will give our experiences a voice.

For those who might be interested in taking part, you will not be asked why you choose to be childfree. It is more the response of society to that choice that is being examined :).

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14 years 9 months ago #51349 by Toni - Northland
Replied by Toni - Northland on topic Childfree couples needed for masters research

quote:Originally posted by Isla

Toni, experience here tells me that you're often strongly judgemental about things outside of your own experience, that was all. Being a grandmother who often discusses her children and theirs, I suspected this might be one of those issues.

Well, you got the wrong end of the stick this time Isla. Just shows you, one shouldn't jump to conclusions should one.

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14 years 9 months ago #51352 by Isla
It was quite fun poking you with it though, Toni. [}:)]:D:D:D:D

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14 years 9 months ago #51353 by Toni - Northland
Replied by Toni - Northland on topic Childfree couples needed for masters research
It is more the response of society to that choice that is being examined

Tigger, societys reponse may be different to what childfree people think. Unless of course people say to their face their opinions. What I am trying to say is, it may be perceived.

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14 years 9 months ago #51357 by reggit
Oooh, they say it to your face alright :(.

For some reason it is one topic that is seen to be open slather for tactless comments [:0]. And it's not just one or two people, everyone seems to want to let you know about what they think about your personal decision, from workmates, bosses, friends, family, people you meet at parties even, once they find out you don't have kids!!!

Quite amazing really, the temptation at times has been to shift peoples perceptions of us by subtle comments (or not so subtle, if hubby had his way [:0]) from the childfree camp into the childless so that we were left alone...but I refuse to do that on principle [}:)].

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14 years 9 months ago #51360 by Toni - Northland
Replied by Toni - Northland on topic Childfree couples needed for masters research
I used to get the same in reverse about why I had 4 kids in 5 1/2 years, like it was wrong. You do all know my views on it and I wouldn't have it any different for me if I had my time over again. In fact I would have had more if I medically could have. I would still hate to have no kids, buts that's just me. It seems to upset Isla that I talk about them but not that others talk about their families, so that is a kind of discrimination, but hey, I can take it. Good luck with the research anyway, and I would be interested in the outcome of it.

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14 years 9 months ago #51364 by reggit
[:0] Hogget, two tooth and four tooth is much simpler...[}:)]

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14 years 9 months ago #51370 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic Childfree couples needed for masters research
I have a great mate who 10 years or so ago when I asked her 'Are you sure you don't want kids?' replied 'Good God no!! Far to selfish and set in our ways'
I thought it was a shame because they were so good with kids, but it was their choice and it certainly wasn't any of my business to tell them otherwise.
Anyway less than a year later I had a phone call from her, she told me to sit down...I did...she then told me she was pregnant!! Well I nearly fell of my chair!
Anyway, long story short....she's got 4 kids now!!!!
The day we went down and saw her with her first born, she was a different person, she'd gone all clucky, blubby and had fallen madly in love with this little bundle.
There is nothing on this planet like that feeling you have for your child, it's life changing alright.
There have been many times that I've wanted to send Mini-Dweller back to whence he came but I doubt he'd fit now!!

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14 years 9 months ago #51372 by llamafarma
A good friend of mine & his wife decided VERY early on that they were not going to have children, they were happy with their dogs, and their lives (at the time). A few years down the line my friend met a girl with a couple of kids, went all goooey & left his wife for her. WEhen the dust settled, it turned out he had always wanted kids, but also wanted a happy wife (mug!) and guess what, she is remarried, happily, with 2 kids!!!!

It is important you both REALLY want to be child free. If Mrs LF had not been interested in having children, i would have happily not bothered, but then again, i wouldn't changemy mimi Llamafarma!

2 Goats, 7 Chooks, 1 Cat 1 Dog, (RIP Jake) & 2 Kunekune's.......& a fabulous new rescue GSD,for now.......

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