Midweek funny

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16 years 7 months ago #688 by maggies mum
Midweek funny was created by maggies mum
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only
to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water.
Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $35."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie.
I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."

"Okay', said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need.Shalom".

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back. "Your f**king brother won't let me in without a tie."

:p

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16 years 7 months ago #49022 by Dream Weaver
Replied by Dream Weaver on topic Midweek funny
I Love it

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16 years 6 months ago #49040 by Farmer Riley
Replied by Farmer Riley on topic Midweek funny
A hairy biker stopped by the local Harley shop to have his bike fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil.
He also stopped by the feed store and livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.

She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. I would walk you home but I can't carry this stuff."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he said "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall and have your way with me?"

The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket. I'll hold the chickens."

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