English ,English,English

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14 years 11 months ago #672 by Muddy
Why is English so hard for some to learn?
We had NO difficulty -- Did we.....

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8.) I did not object to the object.

9) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

10) They were too close to the door to close it.

11) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

12) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

13) I shed my clothes in the shed.

Let's face it - English is a ridiculous language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; neither apple nor pine in a pineapple; and certainly NO POT in Pot Noodle

English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that.....

quicksand works slowly,

boxing rings are square

a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that bakers bake, but grocers don't groce?

If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese.
So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?

If teachers taught,
why don't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat?

We ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

People, not computers, invented English and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit "START".
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14 years 11 months ago #48805 by Toni - Northland
Replied by Toni - Northland on topic English ,English,English
Very very good.:D

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14 years 11 months ago #48809 by The Kats Place
erectial disfunction - when the electric fence you have just erected doesn't keep the cows in!

kats
Live your life in such a way that it will be easy for people to say nice things at your funeral [;)]

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14 years 11 months ago #48852 by Double8
Replied by Double8 on topic English ,English,English
BRILLIANT!:D

What am I? Fly paper for freaks?!

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