TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER : Winnie, name an important thing we have today, we didn't have 10 years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.