And so the world revolves.....

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15 years 1 month ago #409 by max2
"SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via
an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The
public buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot,
and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because your
sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINA CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that
you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You
close the office and go for a few beers.

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive."

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15 years 1 month ago #44164 by Kiwi303
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.

The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us it's just three thousand light years wide.

We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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15 years 1 month ago #44230 by organicltd
Be very, very careful Kiwi303. You are treading on thin ice with your comments. You dont want to re-ignite the debates we have had here in the past about inteligent life, creationism and religion.

Wine does not make you FAT it makes you LEAN...
....against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

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15 years 1 month ago #44231 by kate
Replied by kate on topic And so the world revolves.....
But it was a great film.....

Web Goddess

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15 years 1 month ago #44243 by Kiwi303
hmm... I can't remember those debates? Were they before my time or was I just inobservant?

Besides which, if anyone needs a missing link between the apes and humans, all you have to do is look at the White House incumberent to see a throwback to that stage :D

You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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15 years 1 month ago #44244 by organicltd
They went on back in the good old days

Wine does not make you FAT it makes you LEAN...
....against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

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15 years 1 month ago #44265 by Kiwi303
Hopefully we're more civilised now I've arrived... :D

Now a good debate/flame war on politics, that gets the blood moving.

You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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15 years 1 month ago #44273 by Farmer Riley

quote:Originally posted by organicltd

Be very, very careful Kiwi303. You are treading on thin ice with your comments. You dont want to re-ignite the debates we have had here in the past about inteligent life, creationism and religion.

Other than the fact that you have to recite it in a Cockney accent, I can't see much in there that is controversial.

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