Moral dilemma

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7 years 7 months ago #38768 by kai
Moral dilemma was created by kai
I have a house on the market that was bought as a do-er upper and has been done up. There probably are minor imperfections, but nothing that should stop anyone buying it.
I had it on the market with a major real estate agency, they brought round a lot of viewers, but no offers.
At the time a very good friend of mine was in a bad place (physically abusive relationship) so although I love her dearly, she was not in a place to sell the property. After a couple of months she was in a better place and as the house still had not sold, I gave it to her to sell. Without going into details she hasn't done the job, everything that has been done has been after nagging and much wrangling.
So I am going to put it back with the original agent.

So moral dilemma how the heck do I tell her? The old with hindsight, don't mix friendship and business.

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7 years 7 months ago #498499 by Mich
Replied by Mich on topic Moral dilemma
Hi Kai - hard place for you to be in, that's for sure, and you did a very nice thing to give your friend a chance to sell the house.

How to tell her? Honesty with kindness generally works well. I'm guessing she will already know that she hasn't quite struck the mark on this one.

All the best when you talk to her.

Cheers, Mich.

Good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help someone up. Anon.

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7 years 7 months ago #498500 by kai
Replied by kai on topic Moral dilemma
I can see that she is probably wanting to get of the listing herself. Having dabbled in real estate myself I can see the signs, The "things" we haven't done which are preventing the property from selling and yes I can see the odd flaw, but the "things" would not stop the property from selling, as they are all exceptionally minor they are an excuse as to why she hasn't sold it.
I feel it will eventually end up in a broken friendship which will be a big shame.

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7 years 7 months ago #498503 by Deanna
Replied by Deanna on topic Moral dilemma
Shame you didn't give it a time frame when you gave it to her to sell, but hind sight and all that.

Honesty and practicality. If its a true friendship, it shouldn't affect it unduly.

25 acres, 1400 Blue Gums, Wiltshire sheep, 5 steers, 2 cows, ducks, chickens, bees, dog, cats, retired, 1 husband and 3 grandkids.

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7 years 7 months ago #498510 by Aquila
Replied by Aquila on topic Moral dilemma
Sit down with her over a coffee, Have a chat. Ask her if she is having difficulty selling the house. When she eventually says yes (The joy of asking questions you already know the answer to) Ask why she thinks she's not having much luck. Ask her what she thinks you have to do to make the house more appealing to buyers. Ask previous agents the same questions and look for common issues.

Ask her if she still wants the listing and if she says yes then tell her you can no longer offer it to her exclusively. She might agree with you or having competition she might push it a bit harder.

Honesty is the best way to go.

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7 years 7 months ago #498542 by kai
Replied by kai on topic Moral dilemma

Aquila;504089 wrote: Ask her what she thinks you have to do to make the house more appealing to buyers. Ask previous agents the same questions and look for common issues.

After last Sundays open home with no one there, she had plenty of time to think what could be done to improve it but with the exception of one idea (which I had already thought about) none of her suggestions could stop the place from selling. I know after a few months on the market, the new carpet might probably need a run over with the vacuum, but I cannot see that it would prevent it from selling. There were also phrases such as "people have been telling me..." however she has not had enough people round to be telling her anything. She wants all the furniture taking out to make it "appear bigger" however we staged the house deliberately with modern furniture, an uncluttered look etc and taking the furniture out would just make the place appear, well empty and make it harder to sell. I mentioned the suggestion to take the furniture out to the agent who is going to get the property back and he was horrified, so it is not just my opinion.

I have a feeling it is all going to end in tears no matter how tactful I try to be.

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7 years 7 months ago #498549 by Stikkibeek
Replied by Stikkibeek on topic Moral dilemma
Being "tactful" is not necessarily the best approach. I think you have to be honest and straight forward.
You have invested time and money in this property for which you now expect a return. If she wants to keep exclusive selling rights, give her a two week time limit and then take it back to your other chosen agent. Don't try to analyse her wellbeing or offer advice, healing of that sort always has to come from within; just be a good listener on thosse issues.

Did you know, that what you thought I said, was not what I meant :S

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7 years 7 months ago #498566 by Anakei
Replied by Anakei on topic Moral dilemma
I think you are right about it ending in tears [:(
I think you are dealing with somebody who is way in over her head and the kindest thing for both of you is to finish the arrangement immediately and not keep dragging it out. It will probably be a big relief to her as well. Just keep offering your support on her other issues and hopefully the friendship will survive, but the longer this drags on the less likely that will be.
Tough love!

Urban mini farmer and guerilla gardener

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7 years 7 months ago #498568 by kai
Replied by kai on topic Moral dilemma
Well I have told her. To say it did not go down well was an understatement. I don't know if things can survive it, I am very sad, but I cannot afford the property to be on the market past xmas.

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7 years 7 months ago #498571 by Deanna
Replied by Deanna on topic Moral dilemma
Sorry about that kia, but you did it, and hats off to you. Whether the friendship survives will be up to both of you. If its important to you, show her nothing has changed for you. I wish you all the best for a sale.

25 acres, 1400 Blue Gums, Wiltshire sheep, 5 steers, 2 cows, ducks, chickens, bees, dog, cats, retired, 1 husband and 3 grandkids.

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7 years 7 months ago #498572 by Aquila
Replied by Aquila on topic Moral dilemma
If the friendship doesn't last over something like this, it may be for the best.

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7 years 7 months ago #498584 by Mich
Replied by Mich on topic Moral dilemma
Good on you, Kai - even though you felt it didn't go well, it's out in the open now and I'm hoping you feel better about that. Now you can move forward as you need to do.

Re the friendship surviving - given that she hasn't been in a good place for a while, it may be up to you to do the donkey's share of the work here. If you care about her and value the friendship that could well mean having to put up with hurt feelings and a bit of attitude on her part - at least until she has time to think things through and see the situation from your position. IMHO, behaving as you always have with her is more likely to reassure her about the friendship. Hope so, anyway. True friends are worth the effort. All the best.
Cheers, Mich.

Good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help someone up. Anon.

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7 years 7 months ago #498588 by RaeM1
Replied by RaeM1 on topic Moral dilemma
Most real estate sales, are a 3 months exclusive, and then open market, so you are not doing wrong with relisting it with other estate personel, We had an exclusive on our lifestyle block north of Ak, at KKK, and after 3 months it was opened up to all real estate agents, and sold within two weeks, so that is why exclusive sellling is not always the best.

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7 years 7 months ago #498652 by kai
Replied by kai on topic Moral dilemma
The contract had not come to an end, however you can give 1 week notice to end it. However ironically enough as one of my complaints was lack of attention to detail and not getting things done quickly enough (took 1 1/2 weeks to get the property on their website, took another 3 weeks of asking several times to get rid of a couple of pictures which were taken on a dull day and I had supplied high resolution ones taken on a sunny day and in focus and when the sunny photos were uploaded, the main one, you guessed it, was still the dull out of focus shot). Usually agents come asking you for marketing money, I had to demand it being put in papers, and even offering the money up front she was saying save your money I am working with this person. I said I do not want all my eggs in one basket and it took 2 weeks to get any ad in anywhere. The number of people shown round have been a fraction of the numbers the other agents were getting.
Anyway when I approached the original agent, he was more than happy to get it back and typical of her lack of attention to detail, my contract with her is null and void as there is no date on it, though the other agency is going through the correct procedures to transfer things anyway

I did real estate for a short while, so I know how it works. It has been causing a lot of arguments between me and OH.

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