Borrowing stuff

Allow me to get my head straight on this subject, that the protocol of this hasn't changed while I've been asleep......

1. If you borrow something, you return it as soon as possible and in the same condition it was when you borrowed it (or better).

2. If you borrow/use a food item, you replace it.

3. If you wreck/damage a borrowed item, you repair or replace it.

4. If you borrow an item, its additional good manners to take it back with a small thank you gift for the owner.

5. If a borrowed item breaks down, you let the owner know before dumping the item.

Have i missed anything? [}]

But you are a reasonable person and the only apparent failure on your part is in presuming the lendee to be similarly reasonable. [}]

That's how we'd work it and expect it from others too. Expectations are sometimes, sadly, far in excess of reality.

I would never expect a gift returned with the item. A thank you is sufficient

Depends what it is! []

If I borrow something and it breaks while I'm using it, I'd be in contact with the owner about what to do next. If the thing was old and the breakage was wear-and-tear, I'd not expect to be entirely responsible for the cost of repair. But then those are the sorts of things which deter borrowing in the first place. We tend not to lend tools and things except to people we know have a similar skill in their use and a similar regard to property and the value of help and so on. Some things are never lent, because negotiating replacement or repair would be fraught.

I would have to agree with muri, I would not expect a gift, I would however hope should I need to borrow something from the same person that they would remember they had borrowed something from me in the past.

I wouldn't expect a gift, I borrowed my neighbours trailer a little while ago to collect our beasts who 'christened it' so it was returned waterblastered, don't want to jeopardise not being able to use it in the future, and was my responsibility.

Sounds like something has gone wrong?
I agree with what you said, but perhaps not the gift part, unless of course it's something homemade like a small pot of jam or batch of scones

I probably worded the gift part incorrectly, perhaps what I should have said is its a nice touch to do so.....

Well, two experiences..... firstly on a minor note I lent my stock trailer out for (lets call them people) to pick up some furniture. All went well for them but they returned with my blue tarp front cover completely ripped off the trailer. Apparently as they went up the motorway, the ties ripped the tarp and they had to double back to collect it from the side of the motorway. its calving season again and I have to replace it. It could have been taken off easily, and had survived half a dozen trips to and fro the sales yards with me driving. A minor inconvenience, but I'm wondering why am I the one to buy a new one?

The other item is (some professionally working people) a couple of years ago had fallen on tough times and their washing machine had packed up. She was having to drive to the laundromat and spend considerable $$'s on getting their clothing washed, plus a bit of hand washing at home.

They were unable to afford a replacement machine, so we lent them our spare. It was our spare as it belonged to my MIL and we used it as our fancy camping machine during our stays from over the ditch.

In fairness it was about 14 years old and I had cracked the top cover, but the machine worked well all the time I used it. Several months went by and they were still using our machine until they refinanced and bought a new one. Our machine was then moved into their garage and I wasn't given the impression the the machine had stopped working at all.

Last week they were away again and our machine started to play up. I sent a message to let us know when they were back so we could pick up the machine, received the ''like'' message back (on FB) and on the weekend hubby went to get it as our daughter told us they were back and was told our machine packed it in and they got rid of it.

I know it was still there last year as I fed their dogs whilst they were away, but I'm gob smacked.

Even if the machine is dead it is not their place to dump it. It remains your property and should be returned to you. It is entirely your decision what happens after that. If anyone did this to me that would be it as far as trusting them with anything again was concerned.

igor;488807 wrote: Even if the machine is dead it is not their place to dump it. It remains your property and should be returned to you. It is entirely your decision what happens after that. If anyone did this to me that would be it as far as trusting them with anything again was concerned.

Should I also tell you they borrowed one of our lawnmowers, once again not a new one but one in fair condition that did the job, and the pull string broke on it. He said he priced it and it was $15 and he ''wasn't going to spend that'' and would continue to start it however he was starting it at the time.

We haven't seen that back either.....

Here's a good trick to get things back under some circumstances.
My father was a very generous man and lent his buzzer to a builder, telling him to send it back when he'd finished the job. Well this builder never finished and wouldn't give the buzzer back. Dad was telling his cousin about this loss when the cousin said, sell me the buzzer, I will go collect it. So, Dad sold the buzzer for 5/-. Armed with the receipt, the cousin picked up the buzzer from the mean builder who was very annoyed, and delivered it safely back to my father. He never lent it out again.

Oh my gosh Max2, that is pretty miserable behaviour on their part.

I like Stikkibeek's solution!

Well you know the old saying - there's two things you should never lend, your lawnmower and your wife cos they'll both come back........

Borrowers and machinery wreckers are usually from the same bloodline.

Max, that's a shocker...and I hope you never ever feel the urge to lend stuff to them ever again!

What's the old saying of 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me...' []

I have lost plenty of books over the years to folk who have 'lent them on' without telling me and I haven't been able to recover them as everyone in the subsequent chain seems to forget who had them next...so I don't lend them often now, and if I do, I make sure they know that the loan is just to them, and needs to be returned rather than passed on (in the nicest possible way, of course!)

If anyone stuffs it up once, they don't get a second chance...

That's awful, people can be so inconsiderate.
We lend out books/DVDs etc with no trouble as I keep a chart on the side of the freezer for stuff we have lent out and stuff we have borrowed from people with dates and names etc. If we don't get book back within a couple of months (normally only lent to reliable friends) I just ask for it. Same thing when we borrow books etc from other people.
I used to have book cheques which were just like a cheque book in that on the stub which you keep it says who and when borrowed the book/DVD and on their slip, your details which they could use as the bookmark so they had a permanent reminder.
We have hundreds of books and I would never remember otherwise.