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9 years 5 months ago #454286 by spoook
Replied by spoook on topic Census Forms
Just to clog up the airwaves, here is the passport application

Subject: Passport Application

This was actually taken from a passport application, a member of staff copied it, as it made her laugh all day

Dear Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport but am at a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals, Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won, where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years.
It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on 4th March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister.

I'm obviously not myself this morning, but between you and me, I have simply had enough!
You mail the application form to my house, then you ask me for my address.

What is going on?

Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there?

Look at my damn picture.
Do I look like Bin Laden?

I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake!

I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well I have to go now, because I have to go back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one AND
to the tune of 60 quid!

What a racket THAT is!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?

But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense.

You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me

on the goddamn picture - you know ... the one where we're not allowed to smile in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile?

'Cause we're totally jacked off!

I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years, including over 10 years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security
clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I've been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - someone like my doctor ... who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...!!!

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.

... and for those of you that have read this far..... OMG, I came across this too. How absurd!!! America, got me beat.

There are no bad questions only those that are not asked.
"You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed"

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9 years 5 months ago #454296 by Hawkspur
Replied by Hawkspur on topic Census Forms
Ha ha good one Spoook. :D :D

Government Departments aren't the only ones to get tangled in red tape. A well-known national chain of shops has a database of customers that is significantly larger than the number of New Zealand households, even when allowing for multiple customers per household. :confused::rolleyes: :D

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9 years 5 months ago #454307 by Akzle
Replied by Akzle on topic Census Forms

helen55;455211 wrote: Dearie me, I'd rather vote for Winston Peters than you ... and I would NEVER, EVER vote for him.

And, I respectfully suggest that if you are going to talk about not letting people who don't speak English into the country, you check your posts for spelling mistakes and correct them before you hit the 'submit reply' button. [;)]

please feel free to point them out, i do take license since english is such a shit language and have my own vernacular, but i tend to be exceptionally well spelled.

Kiwi303;455214 wrote: Personally I wish that the govt DID link things more efficiently...

I, XXXX YYYYYY database number 1234567abcdef, want to apply for a ZZZZZZZZZZ.

Then the govt dept just digs in their database and spits out the relevent licence/passport/permit/document with all blanks filled...

no need to fill in your date of birth in EVERY form, or your mothers aunts sisters hair colour or whatever they wish to know on the 500th form you filled in for a govt department.

if you do a big of digging on how "law" works, it's all a matter of contract, every time you give a sign of your nature ("signature") you're taking responsibility for a legal fiction/corporate entity (your capitus diminutio maxima "name"): you are giving the sign that you have the nature of a corporation: acting for private gain or profit.
you register, apply, and get given certificates in return. it's all commerce, it's all business. you register a car, you register a live birth. you register a company, you get a certificate of registration for each and then, since you're agreeing to be a corporation, are bound by the rules which you obviously read and stood under ("understood") before signing, eh?
legally, "to register" is "to abandon" so you abandon title to your car/company/live birthed thing to whomever you register it to.
and that's the guts of it. it's all about who holds title. and in any case of the government or the corporate legal fiction "the crown": it's them.

Hawkspur;455216 wrote: ...voting is part of our responsibility, in order to increase the chance of sensible representative lawmakers.

do you have any evidence it's ever worked in the past?

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9 years 5 months ago #454320 by Seaside
Replied by Seaside on topic Census Forms

Akzle;455171 wrote: you must have a short memory if you can overlook all the debates/outcrys/petitions/referenda etc that go ignored and unheeded by your socialist rulers.


I do have a short memory! And my grandmother is in the advanced stages of dementia, which is why I would like the services to be there for me when I get to that stage.

I also have a Cuban step father and I appreciate that while many outcries and petitions go unheeded by 'my' socialist rulers, I am at least allowed to have an outcry and not be sent to prison for 25 years for having an opinion that doesn't follow the government line.

Akzle;455171 wrote: you mention schools: how about chch, where they're railroading through "combined schooling" despite massive outcry from the locals, the government line is "there isn't a need for a school there" until the 600 parents turn up and say "hey wait on..." - then the govt goes and does it anyway.


How about Christchurch schools? I live in the greater ChCh area and I understand that a lot of people are unhappy with what's being done and why they are unhappy.

I also have a friend whose children go to a school that is getting closed. And she is in favour of the idea of super school system and doesn't understand why people are afraid of change. Horses for courses.

Akzle;455171 wrote:
healthcare services are funded through ACC which you pay for with the priviledge of driving, and with the priviledge of being employed, they don't come out of statistics' budget.


Look, I know no-one likes a smartarse and this may be pedantic, but ACC funds the cost of injuries. Not healthcare for ill health that wasn't caused by an accident. But that is funded through tax, which I pay as a priviledge of being employed, that's true.

But I have travelled around the world a bit and as far as systemic corruption goes, we're pretty lucky here in NZ. I know every cent of my tax dollar won't be spent how *I* would want it spent if I had the choice, but I accept that we have to have some form of democrasy, perfection is impossible, but we could do worse. All for the greater good - more or less.

Which reminds me of the movie "Hot Fuzz". Have you seen it? It's pretty funny.

Kids, beasts, and chillies in Swannanoa South.
www.farmaway.co.nz

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9 years 5 months ago #454328 by Akzle
Replied by Akzle on topic Census Forms

Seaside;455310 wrote:
But I have travelled around the world a bit and as far as systemic corruption goes, we're pretty lucky here in NZ. I know every cent of my tax dollar won't be spent how *I* would want it spent if I had the choice, but I accept that we have to have some form of democrasy, perfection is impossible, but we could do worse. All for the greater good - more or less.

Which reminds me of the movie "Hot Fuzz". Have you seen it? It's pretty funny.

just because someone has it worse, does not mean the way it is here is acceptable.

the irony in you mis-spelling democracy to involve the homonym "ass" is funny. (freudian slip?)

i have seen hot fuzz. i don't particularly remember it, so it was probably a pretty average movie.

the "greater good" argument is a good one, i'm glad you raise it.
i actually found the cure for cancer down the back of the yard, behind some prickly bush.
i'll give it to you, if you kill 10, 000 smiling white kids.

greater good huh? rid humanity of cancer for only ten thousand white kids' lives.. good deal?

...no?
what a haggler.
okay, 5000 smiling white kids?

..still no?! doubt it...

but okay, well how about 50 black kids from some african country you've never heard of... surely you'd give their lives for the greater, whiter good, wouldn't ya?

i accept no reduction in my rights for anyone's perceived "greater good."

why is perfection impossible? and why do "we have to have some form of democr-ass-y?

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9 years 5 months ago #454379 by morioka
Replied by morioka on topic Census Forms
so next elections, just cross out everyone elses name (initial the changes to make it legal) and write "akzle" at the bottom of your forms.

I get so peeved when people don't vote and spend the rest of the time whinging about the system - As far as I am concerned If you don't vote you lose your rights to complain. I also think you are confusing government with politics and big business - they are not the same

'll give it to you, if you kill 10, 000 smiling white kids.

greater good huh? rid humanity of cancer for only ten thousand white kids' lives.. good deal?

...no?
what a haggler.
okay, 5000 smiling white kids?

..still no?! doubt it...

but okay, well how about 50 black kids from some african country you've never heard of... surely you'd give their lives for the greater, whiter good, wouldn't ya?

What have you got against kids? or africans and chinese? A bit xenophobic are we?

wee thing called freedom of choice, if i have it, as i supposedly do in a "free and democratic nation", then i should have the choice not to

innit? or am i free, but only if i'm towing the party line?

Go live somewhere where there is no democracy, no freedom of choice - Fiji, North Korea, Cuba - I don't care really, Try ranting about your somewhat ill informed anti-government views and see how long it takes for you to make a one way trip to prison. Wonder how long it would take for you to demand you rights to be released as a citizen of a democaratic country :rolleyes:

No system can ever be perfect, no one is claiming that it is, but at least we have a means to make it better

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9 years 5 months ago #454400 by stephclark
Replied by stephclark on topic Census Forms
hi spoook.. that US form for late birth registration is hilarious..and sadly applies to me..i am never going to get a birth cert if i have to fill in one of those..
daughter of US citizen, so it applies...but hey, i was literially born in a tent, in the far north of Iran.. i have no birth certificate and no documentation to say when my actual birthday was.. Mum told me, but then she got my sisters date wrong by 4 days[;)] ( so not the best source of accurate info ).. not as bad as Dad who recons i was born 2 years after i thought i was..birth registration docs ( filed in paris ) state 4 years after what i thought...so i am sticking with that :) .. i am 46 not 50 :D

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9 years 5 months ago #454407 by Akzle
Replied by Akzle on topic Census Forms

morioka;455376 wrote: I get so peeved when people don't vote and spend the rest of the time whinging about the system - As far as I am concerned If you don't vote you lose your rights to complain. I also think you are confusing government with politics and big business - they are not the same

What have you got against kids? or africans and chinese? A bit xenophobic are we?

Go live somewhere where there is no democracy, no freedom of choice - Fiji, North Korea, Cuba - I don't care really, Try ranting about your somewhat ill informed anti-government views and see how long it takes for you to make a one way trip to prison. Wonder how long it would take for you to demand you rights to be released as a citizen of a democaratic country :rolleyes:

No system can ever be perfect, no one is claiming that it is, but at least we have a means to make it better

i love that the default response is anger and "go somewhere else"

if i lived "somewhere else" and had to fight for my rights with an AK47, then i would, as it is, i don't. so i'll use the bullshit legal system against itself and to my advantage.

it's specifically because i don't vote that i have every right to complain. - i have NEVER given ANYONE the right to make decisions for me, i have never implied that i want anyone to, either.
diametrically opposite to your current view: voting removes any rights you may have had. you're consenting to the system, you're consenting to be governed.
i do not consent.

you're absolutely wrong on two counts with the next one. government IS business
and i'm not confusing either of the two, on account of i don't have big businesses coming around and demanding money from me, or insisting i am actually an employee, when i've never signed up to be, or insisting that they have the right to charge me for air/water/land/roads or anything else based on some "claim" to "title"

i have nothing aginast any kids, that's just a really good example of "the greater good" replace the word kids with old folks, or teenagers if you want.
the moral seems to have gone right over your head.
if i had the cure to cancer, and demanded that you kill people, how many would you kill, what is an acceptable number for the greater good?
surely, you could kill 49% of the entire population, if the other 51% needed the cure, eh? that's the greater good. innit. that's a democratic majority...

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9 years 5 months ago #454409 by kindajojo
Replied by kindajojo on topic Census Forms
Can anyone recommend a good drench for a social parasite

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9 years 5 months ago #454410 by morioka
Replied by morioka on topic Census Forms
The difficult thing is that government in one form or other has been around for as long as we got up on two legs and started talking to each other - the need for order, moral rules and cooperation is part of what makes us human. Find me a group of people without a government that have managed not to kill each other in the process and then I might start listening.

“If you are bored and disgusted by politics and don't bother to vote, you are in effect voting for the entrenched Establishments of the two major parties, who please rest assured are not dumb, and who are keenly aware that it is in their interests to keep you disgusted and bored and cynical and to give you every possible reason to stay at home doing one-hitters and watching MTV on primary day. By all means stay home if you want, but don't bullshit yourself that you're not voting. In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: you either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some Diehard's vote.”
― David Foster Wallace, Up, Simba!

“Elections belong to the people. It's their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.”
― Abraham Lincoln

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9 years 5 months ago #454411 by Hawkspur
Replied by Hawkspur on topic Census Forms

kindajojo;455408 wrote: Can anyone recommend a good drench for a social parasite

Pour cold water on it. :D :D :D :D

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9 years 5 months ago #454427 by Akzle
Replied by Akzle on topic Census Forms

kindajojo;455408 wrote: Can anyone recommend a good drench for a social parasite

politicians? burn them. burn them with fire...

morioka;455409 wrote: The difficult thing is that government in one form or other has been around for as long as we got up on two legs and started talking to each other - the need for order, moral rules and cooperation is part of what makes us human. Find me a group of people without a government that have managed not to kill each other in the process and then I might start listening.

i'm not quite sure if you've realised, but lots and lots of people die in the name of white democratic governance.

but has it?! how is your idea of indian (the american variety, before america was america) government, maori government, abo government?

order - no
morality - yes
co-operation - yes.

the two party farce that is politics here is known as adversarial. that's not cooperative.
anyone who's ever seen a session of parliament sitting will know that they're worse than squabbling kindergarten children. really, they need their heads knocked together and some time out in the yard.

i think, most people would agree, that cooperation is more productive than fighting, that's part of being a sentient being on earth in the year loosely known as 2013.
so how does the current system, which encourages greed, consumerism and private profit, accommodate cooperation? every man is out for himself, and to one-up his neighbour by the size of his SUV, TV or wife's tits.
people are employed to work for someone (a corporate fiction, whose objective is private profit) not with everyone.
capitalist theory requires profit, profit requires growth , growth requires consumption. where does that end?!

"the bottom line is profit, nobody gives a ****"
-Serj Tankian

i would submit that subsistence tribal living was not "governed". yes there were rules, and you were liable to be left fending for yourself if you broke them, but the individual was working for everyone in the tribe. i would submit there was more social harmony and less wanton waste.

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9 years 5 months ago #454432 by Denneaux
Replied by Denneaux on topic Census Forms
Oh wow, hands up if you are wearing a tin foil hat.

Sent from my SK17a using Tapatalk 2

Unless stated, the above post is not meant as criticism.

Go back and read it again in your HAPPY voice!

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9 years 5 months ago #454436 by Seaside
Replied by Seaside on topic Census Forms

Akzle;455319 wrote: the irony in you mis-spelling democracy to involve the homonym "ass" is funny. (freudian slip?)


Full points for using the word irony correctly. Let's not turn this into a spelling war. That would be boaring. (Oops)

Akzle;455319 wrote: i have seen hot fuzz. i don't particularly remember it, so it was probably a pretty average movie.


I thought you might like Hot Fuzz because it's about white, middle class people from a small English village who murder anyone who get in the way of them winning the Best Kept Village award. The term 'all for the greater good' is a quote from that movie.

Akzle;455319 wrote:
i actually found the cure for cancer down the back of the yard, behind some prickly bush.
i'll give it to you, if you kill 10, 000 smiling white kids.


Killing kids and filling in a Census form are a bit different.

Akzle;455319 wrote: why is perfection impossible? and why do "we have to have some form of democr-ass-y?


Perfection is impossible because *your* idea and *my* idea of perfection are different.

We have to have some form of democracy because it is preferable to a dictatorship or anarchy. I take it anarchy is your preferred option? I suggest you read George Orwell's Lord of the Flies if you haven't already.

Kids, beasts, and chillies in Swannanoa South.
www.farmaway.co.nz

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9 years 5 months ago #454446 by wandering free
Replied by wandering free on topic Census Forms

Akzle;455429 wrote:
i think, most people would agree, that cooperation is more productive than fighting, that's part of being a sentient being on earth in the year loosely known as 2013.

I have to agree, how often do we have the tail waging the dog in our Parliament and the appeasement of a minor party. I was reading how Hitler came to power and it only happened because the other parties could not co-operate, they could easily have out voted the Nazis party.

So although I agree on some things, for me it's a privilege to vote, and I have no issues with the census, people died to get universal suffrage and have a say in how they were governed, before that happened we had things like the enclosing acts, people starved or were factory fodder to the bosses who were immune to the suffering of their workers, who if they died could easily be replaced by peasants forced of their land with no say in the matter, this is how some poor sods were treated in Litton and in many other places, www.peaklandheritage.org.uk/index.asp?peakkey=21300621 my great-grand father was born in Litton and I grew up not many miles away, so it's part of my heritage and I feel strongly about how brutal people can be to those weaker than themselves.

Just me and the cat now, on 2 acres of fruit and veg + hazel nuts, macadamia, chestnuts and walnuts,
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