Home Chores for a 14 yr old?

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12 years 4 months ago #29142 by highgirl
I realise everyone is going to have differing opinions on this one, but I'm interested to hear other thoughts on fair expectations for the amount/type of jobs that could be completed by a 14yr old boy to contribute towards the family life.

I find it hard to motivate my son to do much at all...maybe I've let him away to easily up to now :confused: and then I wonder whether I'm being to hard on him now...but realistically I'm sure I'm not! :p

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12 years 4 months ago #396655 by greenfingers
Well, as a girl, I was expected to help by doing a number of jobs, as it was just Mum and me, and Mum worked full-time. I mowed the lawns, at least prepared veges for dinner (not neccessarily cooked dinner), vacummed & dusted living & dining rooms once in a while, vacummed & tidied my own room, changed my own sheets, did my own laundry (and ironed anything of mine that needed it), washed & vacummed car occasionally, always helped in the vege garden, cleaned bathroom & toilet weekly, made my own school lunches everyday, helped with weekly grocery shopping (getting items for the trolley that is & unloading bags at home)....the list goes on!

Once I turned 15, Mum helped me get my learners licence and I had to get a weekend job - I was expected to then pay for my own clothes, petrol for the car when I used it (had to bring it back with at least 1/2 a tank), entertainment costs (movies, etc) and any "wants". Mum still provided for my needs (food, toiletries, uniform, school stationary, etc) and I didn't pay board/accomodation so long as I helped out around the house, until I left school at 18 (in 1998). The deal was that if I left school without bursary/UE then I had to get full-time work and pay commercial boarding rates, no family freebies! Once I started Uni, I paid $20 a week board till I left home. May sound harsh, but looking back, I think I have a better appreciation of $$$$ and how to make it go further than many of my friends who didn't do weekend/after school jobs.

9.5 acres with 300-odd pines and lots of wobbly fences [:D]

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12 years 4 months ago #396657 by Anne
Replied by Anne on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?
At 14 my brother (and before him, me) was expected to set or clear the table each night for tea, fill or empty dishwasher, wash dishes that didn't fit, clean his own room, put clothes out to be washed, hang them out when asked, bring them in (if it rained and he was the only one at home, this was expected without being asked), feed cats, dogs and ducks before and after school, mow lawns, bring in coal for fire in winter, provide an extra pair of hands on the farm when needed - if there was work like rousieing, we would be paid extra - feed lambs that had mis-mothered - early morning and late at night. He recalls having mum go in to say good night and she checked if he had fed his lamb (actually he was probably about 11 when this happened) and he hadn't so he had to get up and go out and feed it.

He also rode ponies that mum had broken in. The summer he turned 14 he looked the entire farm for cast sheep, by horseback, every day (three hours if he was slow). He took a pony that was barely started at the beginning and ended up with a really quiet, packer pony - that also jumped any fences or gates that were likely :D . He didn't get paid for that until the pony was sold.

What jobs are regular around your place? Do you have a rule that anything that he does mustn't create more work for someone else? Ie that means he has to pick up his own dirty clothes and put them in the laundry basket, leave the bathroom clean and dry after he has used it, leave the toilet clean after he has used it, not leave his plates on the table etc.

What does he think would be fair jobs for him?

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12 years 4 months ago #396658 by thevarneys
All our kids have to help out with family jobs, its a necessity in our house. The 5 & 6 year olds help with picking up toys/belongings, tidying shoes/boots, put away dishes, set table, feeding animals, clear table.
The 10-15 year olds (boys and girls) wash and dry dishes, vacuume, girls are good at doing the bathroom, (havn't made the boys try), put on load of washing, hang washing, get in washing, fold and put away washing, mind the toddlers, feed animals, baking, help with dinner.
Mind you, we have a big team, and things are done quicker, (and more fun) when you have someone to do it with.

So, for your situation, if he is not so used to doing the 'main' jobs, I would start with parts of them and give praise (or an incentive) if it is well done. If not done to the standard you requested, I would kindly but firmly ask him to 'just run the vacuum over that area of floor again', or 'just pop out here and I will show you how to shake the clothes before you peg them up'.

It might help if you discuss that because he is older (does he have siblings?) he has certain responsibilities (pulling his weight, doing his fair share), then he gets to have more privelages (staying up later, cellphone?, etc), but those privelages are for being a part of team, not his right, (as lots of teenagers seem to think).

The minute our Mister 13 drags his feet or asks 'do I have to?', or 'what is she/he doing?', he gets a rundown on all the stuff I have done today to keep the household going (if I am tired and in a grumpy mood) and extra jobs on top.
They learn pretty quickly.

The oldest 3 of our kids are my step kids and live mostly with their Mum in Auckland, so our lifestyle is way different from theirs, but they do so well adjusting each time they visit, to our expectations and rules.

If your son is really hard to motivate, and you would rather just do it yourself to keep the peace and get it done right, I would hold off on washing his clothes and making food for him, and driving him places...
He'll soon get the idea.

Some people are so poor, all they have is money.

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12 years 4 months ago #396664 by Ronney
Replied by Ronney on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?
Highgirl, I would have written what any of the above three posters have. All good stuff. They need to recognise they are not guests but part of the whole and they contribute to that whole.

TV made a comment about her youngster saying "do I have to" and then pointing out to him what she had done for him/family during the day which reminded me of a salutary lesson a young boarder of mine got. I smoked, he didn't. He was washing the dishes and as he got to the end and the ash trays he said he didn't see why he had to wash and dry the ash trays because he didn't smoke. My reply was that I didn't see why I had to cook his dinner because I didn't eat it.

Cheers,
Ronnie

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12 years 4 months ago #396670 by Andrea1

Ronney;391485 wrote: Highgirl, I would have written what any of the above three posters have. All good stuff. They need to recognise they are not guests but part of the whole and they contribute to that whole.


Well put, Ronney. At 14, our son was unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming the house, hanging the laundry, helping with meal prep (and now, at 19, he cooks!), feeding out to the livestock and doing all the waters outside, as well as helping with all the various and sundry other chores/jobs that come up on a farm.

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12 years 4 months ago #396671 by foufee
Replied by foufee on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?
at 14 he is capable of doing any of the household chores (except perhaps bathroom, males and bathroom chores seems a bit hit and miss :) )

best of luck

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12 years 4 months ago #396674 by Kiwismum
Well my Daughter is not 14 but 12, and she has it pretty easy really.

She is expected on a daily basis to put out her washing, keep her room tidy, help with the dishes, walk the puppy, feed the lambs and look after her budgies. Every Wednesday it is her job to cook the evening meal, she has to plan it early enough that if we need anything special we have time to get it.

Other jobs are expected as she is given them.

So not that much really and doesn't not take up a lot of her time.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
A person only gains light
by bringing light into another's life
www.dreamforthree.co.nz/

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12 years 4 months ago #396677 by Xartep
Replied by Xartep on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?
I have a girl, but don't see why its should be any different.

She (9yrs old) unloads the dishwasher most days, cleans the toilet:confused: (her choice[8D]) and keeps her room clean/tidy (sort of), brings in firewood, and sets the fire.

My friends 6 & 8 year old boys vacuum their room every week, and it is always kept very tidy by them. The 8yr old wants to do more (food prep etc) but mum is concerned about the 6yr old wanting to get in on the act[;)] :D

Another friends boys are expected to do ALL their own laundry every week from start to finish. And cook a meal each once per week for the whole family. Plus assisting with keeping the house clean and tidy.
By the time they went to secondary school they had good home management skills.

3 Cocker Spaniels, 1 Huntaway, 3 Cats, Goats, Sheep, Pigs, Cows, Ducks, Chickens, Bunnies - small petting zoo?:rolleyes::cool:

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12 years 4 months ago #396678 by Xartep
Replied by Xartep on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?

foufee;391493 wrote: at 14 he is capable of doing any of the household chores (except perhaps bathroom, males and bathroom chores seems a bit hit and miss :) )

best of luck

:D :D :D Mens level of "clean" seems to differ from many women's [;)][;)][;)]

3 Cocker Spaniels, 1 Huntaway, 3 Cats, Goats, Sheep, Pigs, Cows, Ducks, Chickens, Bunnies - small petting zoo?:rolleyes::cool:

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12 years 4 months ago #396683 by Simkin
Replied by Simkin on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?
Ours had to do little chores from very young age. That started with a 3-year-old putting the pine seedlings into the holes I dug, then hubby closed the holes. This way he was working between us.

We always try to make them do jobs they quite like to do so our now 18 year old shifts the feed bags, gets the firewood down the hill, helps with building projects and the 14 year old girl is more of an indoor person so she helps with cooking, dishes and she looks after the 2 sheep. We've always rewarded our kids for their help with a point-list. Points can be cashed in or money transferred into their account so they can buy something on-line.

Our kids have never been given pocket money - they had to work for every single cent. One winter our 3 kids together built a bridge - the 2 boys did the heavy stuff and the girl, then 9, oiled it and had the nails on hand for the boys.

Highgirl - if your son isn't used to doing work I'd start with a project, explain to him what's expected and the reward to look forward to once completed. A 14 year old won't start to work just for praise - that age is long gone. If something is produced that can be sold he should get a proportion of the profit.

Some kids work for their parents without monetary rewards but this needs to be fostered from a very young age or come along with a crisis like main income earner loosing job.

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12 years 4 months ago #396691 by kaybe
Replied by kaybe on topic Home Chores for a 14 yr old?
highgirl, I expect in 3-4 years' time I'm going to be saying the same thing about my son :rolleyes:

Currently the almost-13 yo girl and the almost-11 boy have only a few set chores - fill and empty dishwasher, lay table for dinner, help Dad dry any cooking utensils that didn't fit in dishwasher or have to be handwashed, and fill the woodbox daily in winter. Occasionally they are asked to help with a particular project, he usually grumbles more than she does. She has a rabbit which is solely her responsibility, although I often have to point out it needs food/water.[}:)]

For your son, maybe you can get him on side by taking the line that what he learns from you are necessary life skills for when he leaves home (which could be only 4 years away) and also will impress girlfriends [;)].

Tomorrow is the day I will stop procrastinating.

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12 years 4 months ago #396696 by stephclark
gosh i didnt realise how handy kids could be around the place.. anyone got some they want to rent out?..

i have lots of little chores and i am doing it all.. oh what bliss to have someone cook a meal for me once and a while,
i have very low standards when it comes to cleaning too, so just waving a vacumm in the general direction of the floor would be a help :D .. also a quick spray of pledge ( in the air [;)] ).. and the house smells clean too :D

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12 years 4 months ago #396705 by Andrea1
My 15-yr-old daughter unloads the dishwasher now, dusts the house once a month (I HATE dusting, she likes it... go figure!), collects the eggs, looks after all the small animal life (mostly poultry), sweeps the lounge and kitchen, feeds the rabbits (all 7 runs of them!), puts the laundry away after I fold it, is supposed to keep her room tidy (but this is where she falls down, big time!), and does heaps of other little things around the house. She also helps me with all my goat showing at this time of year, as well as being the one largely responsible for feeding the bottle fed kids (we do that all together in some form or another, but she does all the extras and heats the milk and fills the bottles, then washes up afterwards).

People have asked how we get our kids to do so much. I don't have a set answer, other than they have always been encouraged (as very small people) and then expected to help as part of the family.

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12 years 4 months ago #396706 by Lindeggs

stephclark;391520 wrote: gosh i didnt realise how handy kids could be around the place.. anyone got some they want to rent out?..

i have lots of little chores and i am doing it all.. oh what bliss to have someone cook a meal for me once and a while,
i have very low standards when it comes to cleaning too, so just waving a vacumm in the general direction of the floor would be a help :D .. also a quick spray of pledge ( in the air [;)] ).. and the house smells clean too :D

:D

I don't have kids but I looked after my 18-month-old nephew for several days while his parents were in the hospital giving birth to his little brother. :)

By the end of that period I had the 18-month-old vacumming the floor, doing the dishes, hanging out the washing (I had to hold him up because he was a bit short for that one). He was already good at tidying up his toys and fetching and carrying for me.

So as you can see I think it's never too early to start!

Wash the dishes:


Then wipe the bench:


Use the carpet sweeper under the table before you've even had breakfast!



[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Missing my lovely chooks

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