bit of a mixture

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10 years 11 months ago #27990 by rob
bit of a mixture was created by rob
While A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded,


"I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't bloody recognize you."

NEED WASHING?
A little girl had been shopping with her Mum in Woolies.
She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the Woolies.


We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.


I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing, so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, 'Mum let's run through the rain,' she said.
'What?' Mum asked.

'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated.

'No, darling, we'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mum replied.

This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mum, let's run through the rain.'

'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mum said.

'No, we won't, Mum. That's not what you said this morning,'the young girl said as she tugged at her Mum's arm.

'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'

'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything! '

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one left. Mum paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.


Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

'Darling, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mum said.

Then off they ran.

We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles.
They got soaked.

They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did.
I ran.

I got wet.
I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health.

But no one can ever take away your precious memories...
So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.


If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry.

Take the time to live!!!

Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you'll need each other --
And don't forget to run in the rain!

One afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate..

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?""We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the Scotsman said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the Scotsman replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it.

"You'll really love my place.

"The grass is almost a foot high"


Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!

'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'

The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'

Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,

'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'

She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said, 'I'll tell you, .......it's a good ting we didn't use WD-40.

Rob

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10 years 11 months ago #383890 by Stikkibeek
Replied by Stikkibeek on topic bit of a mixture
Better they'd used PC10 [}:)]

Did you know, that what you thought I said, was not what I meant :S

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10 years 11 months ago #383904 by sod
Replied by sod on topic bit of a mixture
:D :rolleyes:[^] :D :D

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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