are manners exinct??

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11 years 2 days ago #27685 by missab
are manners exinct?? was created by missab
i know that alot of species have died off but what on earth has happened to the manners??? the politeness and common courtesy of the world has disappeared! i feel like i should be in my 50s or 60s to be complaining about how much it has changed since 'my day' but the sad fact of reality is im not even 30 yet!... this still is 'my day' and yet no one has any manners left!
i am trying to bring up my daughters to have respect of others, but its pushing water uphill when no one around them shows it back[B)], no one gives up their seat for the elderly (or anyone older than them for that matter), holds doors open for the next person, refrains from swearing in front of children, let someone with only 1 item go before them at the supermarket, let a lady holding a baby cross the zebra crossing rather than just driving on through![:(!]
it appears as if even the friendly smile has gone astray.. and when someone offers these gentle gestures to another are looked at like there is something wrong with them:(
i married my husband as he stood out by simple manners (opening my door for me etc)
if only people knew how much further in life they could get with just a few manners
ok grumble over :)

3 equines (brendon,bellissimo and mariah), 6 wiltshire ewes + 4 ram lambs, 1 mini goat (pinky),1 berkshire sow (penelope), 20 odd chickens,6 sebastopol goslings, 3 flemish giant rabbits(bones,bounce,moon), longhaired guinea pig(splish)1 mastif (auto), 2 chihuahuas (mia,seeka),1 maincoon cat...

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11 years 2 days ago #380510 by Andrea1
Replied by Andrea1 on topic are manners exinct??
I think they must be very much on the endangered list, missab! My son (19) was out with friends last night, and he stopped to hold the door of the restaurant open for an elderly man walking with a cane. The man stopped and patted DS on the arm and thanked him, so surprised was he. I stop for pedestrians all the time, and they always wait till I come to a complete stop and wave them past before they cross. Most people seem to treat carparks like mini-motorways, and rarely slow or stop for a pedestrian, even when that person is waiting at a zebra crossing! The whole being-rude-to-pedestrians really makes me cross, especially when it's pouring rain and the driver is snug and dry in their car while I'm stopped waiting for them to go past and getting soaked in the process.

I have to compliment the kids I drive in my carpool, all 7 of them - they always say thank you for the ride, and most of them will ask after my weekend (I drive on the Mondays) and wish me a good evening. Nice kids, good parents!

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11 years 2 days ago #380515 by Ruth
Replied by Ruth on topic are manners exinct??
Never give up on being the one mannered person you know. You'll make somebody's day, somewhere.

I had an absolutely lovely time in the city on my last visit, smiled at anyone who looked my way, got a few surprised looks, but then a usually a relieved and relaxed expression took over.

Being inconsiderate is a decision. Being considerate and friendly is another. The latter feels better and is more fun. :)

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11 years 2 days ago #380516 by Organix
Replied by Organix on topic are manners exinct??
I suspect that this is largely due to the increasing use of impersonal modes of communication. Children are growing up with cellphones (mostly by texting) and computer keyboards being their primary mode of communication with the outside world. In doing so they can choose whether or not to return communications by the push of a button, so no responsibility has to be accepted by them for bad behaviour or failure to perform up to expectations. For today's generation life has a reset button in the form of Unliking a Facebook contact or blocking / not answering cellphone numbers or incoming emails. Softening or the complete demise of discipline from many parents, and definitely our current education system, further contributes to a lack of repercussions for bad behaviour by children and teens.

These impersonal communication methods combined with tuning out of one's surroundings by way of Ipod earphones make for a very self orientated and selfish attitude toward those they come in contact with. So is it lack of manners or more likely a marked decline in 'socialisation' of the upcoming generations?

A Clockwork Orange ??

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11 years 2 days ago #380517 by missab
Replied by missab on topic are manners exinct??
hmmm maybe a combination of both organix, yes we are desensitised by modern technology but in reality a parent leading a good example can be all thats needed, the majority of bad mannered people out there (that i meet in any one day) are adults that should know better, i remember when you could walk down the street and the elderly would always give a smile and a nice 'good morning' now they just grumble or glare at you when you try to be nice! :( i have even had an old dear in the parking lot who was lost, when i thought id help her find her car (being a young female with a baby) she panicked and thought i was going to hurt her , i had to go get security to help her... she was ok with a uniformed man helping her.
i always try to smile and be polite to everyone i meet but man they can push ya buttons!

3 equines (brendon,bellissimo and mariah), 6 wiltshire ewes + 4 ram lambs, 1 mini goat (pinky),1 berkshire sow (penelope), 20 odd chickens,6 sebastopol goslings, 3 flemish giant rabbits(bones,bounce,moon), longhaired guinea pig(splish)1 mastif (auto), 2 chihuahuas (mia,seeka),1 maincoon cat...

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11 years 2 days ago #380518 by stephclark
Replied by stephclark on topic are manners exinct??
just a vote for the young ones here.. ( although i do agree with this post )..
i work with about 20 young lads from 18-25.. they are rotten, cheeky, little sods.. yet when they are out and about working, i get endless compliments from our clients on what lovely, well mannered young men they.. helpful, cheerful. hold doors, chairs, doing things before they are asked..

i am consistantly wondering who these boys are[;)].. they arent the ones that come back to base.. thats for sure :D

maybe its like male hearing.. selective.... seriously but it dont think all is lost

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11 years 2 days ago #380519 by missab
Replied by missab on topic are manners exinct??
wow stephclark what sort of work do they do?
i must admit that there are the odd nice ones out there but when starting this post it was out of pure fustration! i get sick and tired of being the 'nice' one and having to be around such unpleasent people, i truely wish i could spend my entire day on the farm talking to the animals.. i think i get more respect from them

3 equines (brendon,bellissimo and mariah), 6 wiltshire ewes + 4 ram lambs, 1 mini goat (pinky),1 berkshire sow (penelope), 20 odd chickens,6 sebastopol goslings, 3 flemish giant rabbits(bones,bounce,moon), longhaired guinea pig(splish)1 mastif (auto), 2 chihuahuas (mia,seeka),1 maincoon cat...

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11 years 2 days ago #380524 by MooandPop
Replied by MooandPop on topic are manners exinct??
I'm reading an interesting book which, amongst other things, suggests the 80's brought an overwhelming surge in the 'me first' mentality. It cites such examples as Michael Jordan (individual star over team), stock market popularity, a decline in community based volunteering balanced by a surge in self help books and course and executive pay outstripping workers wages. Great reading if you are beginning to despair about the way the world is heading......

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11 years 2 days ago #380527 by TKFARMER
Replied by TKFARMER on topic are manners exinct??
if you get to the bottom of the matter the fact is manners are not taught in the home these days.threr is also a lot of arrogance out there. tkf

Playing farmer on 3.5 acres. [:)][:)]

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11 years 2 days ago #380529 by NZ Appaloosas
Replied by NZ Appaloosas on topic are manners exinct??
I agree with TK...but then even my 28yo knows he's gonna get "watch your language" and "mind your manners" when he steps over the line around me. The 18yo rolls her eyes and groans at me but knows better than to try and play the "I'm an adult now" card. LOL

Diane


Featuring Wap Spotted, sire of the first Wap Spot 2 grandget in Southern Hemisphere and New Zealand

On the first day God created horses. On the second day He spotted the best ones.

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11 years 2 days ago #380535 by ronnie
Replied by ronnie on topic are manners exinct??
Always remember my grandmother (granny) telling the story of when my sister was little and an auntie asked her "where are your manners !!!" and her innocent reply of "oh, she lives down the street" mishearing manners for nana.[;)]

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11 years 2 days ago #380536 by Stikkibeek
Replied by Stikkibeek on topic are manners exinct??
You might be heartened to know that I work with a really nice young male teacher who spends time teaching the art of good manners to the children in his care.

I don't think chivalry is lost altogether, I just think it has taken a back seat in this frantic busy world. It's up to us who know about such good manners to remind those we see not using them, and thank those who do, so that they continue to do so. Ruth you are quite right that smiles are infectious, I believe manners are too.

Did you know, that what you thought I said, was not what I meant :S

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11 years 2 days ago #380556 by PalmyCol
Replied by PalmyCol on topic are manners exinct??
Most of the time I stop to let people cross at the crossing and slow down to let people pull in front of me when they are trying change lanes etc... and 99% of them never say thanks or give a nod or anything. Holding doors is a different story, I think because they come so close to you when they walk in the door they nearly always say thanks when I do it. I agree with TK, it just isn't being taught in the home any more.

Occasionally I hear a parent telling their kid to say thanks for something but most of the time it's just "give me give me give me". If I'm also amazed at the people in the supermarket that are completely unaware that parking their trolley in the middle of the aisle and holding people up is any kind of problem to others. They just seem in their own world where them getting their shopping is all that matters and other people around them is of no consequence at all.
To me it's just like stopping your car in the middle of the road to jump out and go into the shop to buy something. Have a think about how your actions are going to affect other people for crying out load. Mind you it was beaten into me as a youngster so it is pretty ingrained in my way of thinking. Not most others apparently.

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11 years 2 days ago #380559 by eelcat
Replied by eelcat on topic are manners exinct??
Tonight I travelled home on the Well-Wairarapa train with a mother and her two unbelievably polite and well mannered children. She (for the most part) did not have to suggest that they say please and thank you (to her, each other and to me) - they just did, they did what she asked (like don't stand on the seat) etc etc and they were three and five respectively. It was a joy to share an hour with them. Manners are not dead, only maybe in hibernation

1 Border collie, 1 Huntaway, 2 Lhasa Apsos, Suffolk and arapawa ewe crosses, an Arapawa ram,an East Friesian ewe , 5 cats, 42 ducks , 1 rooster and 30 hens, 5 geese, 12 goats, 2 donkeys, 2 house cows, one heifer calf, one bull calf, 3 rabbits and lots and lots and lots of fruit trees...

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11 years 2 days ago #380585 by NZ Appaloosas
Replied by NZ Appaloosas on topic are manners exinct??
The one thing I make sure I do is compliment parents of well-behaved (at least in public ) children.


Featuring Wap Spotted, sire of the first Wap Spot 2 grandget in Southern Hemisphere and New Zealand

On the first day God created horses. On the second day He spotted the best ones.

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