irish

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk & never come back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said,"Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."

Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I cant put a name to it.."
The second picks it up & says, "You daft bastard it's me!"

Paddy's in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."

Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?"
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy.
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!"

LOL what a great way to start my day, and my irish great grandmother would approve.

Rob, didn't you see the post I made last Friday???

as a person of irish decent I find this offensive and surprised it made it past the moderators

would you tell jokes about black people..chinese people..jewish people.

You may even have broken a law

I expect to told to calm down,take it easy,lighten up etc..which of course would be blaming the victim

Its plain old racism and has no place here or anywhere else

..or if you let me know your ancestory I will try and offend you back

Even with no intent....have athink about what you have done

Kiwi Mongrel here, part Irish, part Scots, part Welsh, Part German, Part French, a little Spanish somewhere...

Feel free to dis them all

As the Irish comedian said -If you cant laugh at yourself then life isnt worth living
Cheers

I have taken no offense, mind you I have made a few jokes about different nationalities in my time. My view if you dish it out you have to take it and never be mean spirited to someone less fortunate than you are.

Life is too, too short to take anything too seriously.

I'm 3/4 Irish and learn't almost all of my Irish jokes from my Irish father, interestingly he rarely told jokes about other nationalities, unless it was the old "An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a Bar ...." type joke when the Irishman was always the butt. He loves them and as far as he is concerned a joke is funny if it is funny and nothing else should be read into it.

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I don't think its worth being offended about, Irish jokes are a dime a dozen as are blonde jokes and I certainly don't get offended by every blonde joke I hear.

Jokes are I guess lend themselves to being targeted toward one general area but are not normally said with malice.

In fact all those particular ones above were printed in our local newspaper 2 wks ago so maybe thats why they were making the rounds...I found them quite funny. Especially the hanging one and the nail one!

Most of these jokes are not specific to the group named, whether it be blondes or Irish or whatever, as they make the rounds with different groups featuring in the lead role.

i thought funny...and i am irish ( well as much as any other kiwi )..
again there are blond jokes, polish jokes, black jokes, etc etc.. i have heard some terribly funny and not particularly pc jokes that, given some thought the irish ones above were offensive, would cause a riot...

gotta be able to laff at yourself.. lighten up and have a giggle..

BRL, it is remotely possible that the Irishman, the homosexual, and the Jew were all the same person.

igor;372038 wrote: BRL, it is remotely possible that the Irishman, the homosexual, and the Jew were all the same person.

Ha! Ha! Igor. I like that