Cats and Dogs

Subject: Cats and Dogs

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I never the less must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now........

Hahahaha! Like that! So true!

I work in a pet shop and often tell people a similar story. Also that dogs have owners, cats have servants.

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