I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!

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11 years 10 months ago #24037 by smurfette
AAArrrgggghhhh. We went to the police station this afternoon to see what could be done about a girl at my daughters school who's been harassing her over the last 5 months. All else has failed with going to the principal who's given her several 'talking too's' and nothing seemed to work so off to the coppers we go. She had also txt her saying she was 'going to kill her and stab her etc' and also said it to her face. I had rang her father and his reply was 'oh ..... would never say that, are you sure it was from her phone?' Anyway, long story shorter, this cop said that this girl had been having lots of 'problems' at home (so, not our problem, not being rude) and then had the ordasity (sp?) to say 'she's not going to kill her, have you ever heard of anyone in this town being killed over txts? , noones going to kill anyone, It just dosen't happen like that. Noones going to get stabbed or anything like that so don't be worring yourself.'(duh) (In our town a couple of years ago there was a driveby shooting, dose that count?)
Are we wrong in worring that some delinquant(sp?)girl out there, might loose the plot and attack our daughter?(she was attack last year up town by another girl who had 'problems at home'. and that litte B*tch only got her hand slapped)
It dose happen,you hear about it all the time even if it's overseas. Shall we go over his head and complain about his slackarse attitude or maybe he's right and we shouldn't worry?(try telling that to our subconsious)
We thought we'd bring it to their attention just in case something did happen (god forbid) and then they couldn't say to us 'well you should have reported it in the beginning'.I thought they were there to make us feel safe, not stupid for caring about our kids. We thought that if a policeperson spoke to her she might be scared shitless and leave her alone, but all he could suggest was a 'family meeting'. yeah, like her parents won't loose the plot at that?
I'm truely loosing all faith in our police, it's no wonder people take things into their own hands.
If we take it higher, who do we contact, is it the police Commisioner or something and how?
Thought's please.
Now I'll try and get some sleep.....don't much count on that happening tho....

I'll keep that. It will come in handy one day.:D:D:D

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11 years 10 months ago #340694 by highgirl
Replied by highgirl on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
Well, whether or not this girl does actually physically harm your daughter...there is the very real emotional harm that it will be doing to her [}:)] There was a case down here, where the txt abuse was bad, and the child receiving the texts ended up harming themselves...fatally :(

I suggest you contact the phone company, and say you have been receiving malicious and threatening txt's. They tell you the process to follow to get it sorted...it is illegal to use the communication network in that way I think.

PS. My husband thinks the police complaints authority? I'd try them...it's definitely not acceptable for anyone to be treated like that and it needs to be nipped in the bud. No wonder society is going downhill faster than huge muddy landslide!

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11 years 10 months ago #340695 by The Kats Place
did you see the community constable or the 'real' police? My experience is the community constable is more a peace maker type role rather than actually sorting out the problem

kats
Live your life in such a way that it will be easy for people to say nice things at your funeral [;)]

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11 years 10 months ago #340699 by cantyguy
Replied by cantyguy on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
I would go to the media, maybe your local newspaper and put both the school and police under scrutiny. I thought bullying was totally unacceptable...what about complaining to the Dept of Education as well.

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11 years 10 months ago #340701 by beedee
Replied by beedee on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
S, I happen to occasionally work there, [down the double tracks] at that station did you see the boss man..???? Even I know with my limited knowledge on law that its not allowable to threaten to kill!!
I dont understand the response, as they are very SNAG there and I would have expected a family meeting to have been arranged.. or has your townlet got a small one man band working.
Having been a victim of bullying,myself.. it needs to be stopped, I'd go dept of education.. they have the grunt /clout/systems in place to better deal with it. Especially if the bully comes from the hamlet!
The local paper will not be of help, they tried to help Putaruru area a few school terms ago and got bad backlash!!!!

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11 years 10 months ago #340703 by kate
Replied by kate on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
I'd be angry too. Have you thought of going to the school board? As parents they may be more concerned...

Web Goddess

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11 years 10 months ago #340704 by Xartep
Replied by Xartep on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
I would definitely talk to a more senior police officer - bullying in any form in unacceptable and making threats like that should be taken seriously (possibly the PO you talked to knows the family? and is trying to down play it while the sort their shit?) still not good enough.

Also ring the principal again and also ring the Chair of the BOT and explain how ineffectual the previous "talks" have been. Sounds like she needs counseling, and they can facilitate that.

And ring the parents again and say that you have spoken to the police about this matter as you consider it to be very serious and it is most definately their daughter and that you will take it further if it doesn't stop.

And do not delete any of the texts they are your evidence.

3 Cocker Spaniels, 1 Huntaway, 3 Cats, Goats, Sheep, Pigs, Cows, Ducks, Chickens, Bunnies - small petting zoo?:rolleyes::cool:

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11 years 10 months ago #340705 by Xartep
Replied by Xartep on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
At the very least a family meeting needs to be organised... This is a serious matter.

3 Cocker Spaniels, 1 Huntaway, 3 Cats, Goats, Sheep, Pigs, Cows, Ducks, Chickens, Bunnies - small petting zoo?:rolleyes::cool:

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11 years 10 months ago #340706 by blimeyvicki
You need to write a formal letter of complaint to the board of trustees at her school. They are obliged to take that seriously and the ministry will probably tell you to go back and do that anyway. Ask your principal if you can see the anti bullying policy and the complaints procedure. Do exactly what they tell you to and do it quickly. The key to moving up the ladder in the process with schools and MOE is to follow the written policies.
Is it possible for her to move schools? At the end of the day your daughters health and wellbeing is paramount and YOU are the best judge of what is best for her. T hink u are doing the right thing pursuing it!

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11 years 10 months ago #340709 by Simkin
Replied by Simkin on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
A few years ago I went to the police on behalf of a friend because her husband had threatened to kill her and their kids if she leaves him. Her husband also had a gun and no gun license. He was a horrible man, late 50s, selfish, angry and unpredictable. I had a couple of run-ins with him myself and as he towered over me that was VERY scary.

I got told that this happens all the time and if they (the police) wasted their time following up all those 'threats' they'd never get the serious stuff done. I basically got told to go home and mind my own business. That happened at Christchurch main police station.

I'm glad to be able to report that he didn't kill them (because she didn't leave him). He was diagnosed with cancer soon after so she sat it out which also became easier as he became weaker.

In your case, smurfette, I'd seek help from the ministry of education as already mentioned above. They are much more likely to do something than the police. The police only gets active if something has happened. As my friend didn't have bruises to show there was no 'case'.

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11 years 10 months ago #340712 by smurfette
Replied by smurfette on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
Wow! I didn't expect so much response this early in the morning. Thanks everyone.
As to the mobile company..they need more than just one or two txts and the girl changed her ph number the next day. The 'cop' said that they can't do anything as to the txting (I'm possitive that they can)
We saw 'the real police'. He's actually the 'boss' so that's why we were shocked at his response.
Yes, he dose know the family as this girl was brutally attacked a few years back so I don't understand 'why' she's doing this. The 'boss' said that she's been attracting alot of attention to herself lately but in a 'bad' way. Her parents seemed to be decent people and we got on well with her mum over another matter with bullying involving both our girls when the other b*tch attacked ours. (back when they were friends)
Another cop came out to the desk when he heard shouting as my H was loosing the plot when the 'boss' said 'she's having problems at home', and then the 'boss' asked our daughter to go into another room with him and told her 'we can't talk when your father yells and carries on' then said ' so what do you expect us to do?' our daughter told us 'mum, if he wasn't a cop, I wanted to slapped him, what does he mean by 'what do you expect us to do?' isn't he there to protect us? He treated me like I was dreaming or something and told me to go home and not worry about it and to face the girl and tell her to stop and leave me alone (been done several times already)
This girl was having councelling but I don't know about now. Ours has councelling in Putaruru as we don't like the councellor at the school (another story) as she told our daughter to toughen up and get on with life.
We have looked at changing schools but with being in the country there's a problem with busses and we can't afford it as just been dumped from ACC and now on Invalid's, things are really tight and they've said she may face more bullying at whatever school she goes to (our older daughter went to one of the other schools in this area when we lived over this way awhile back, and she said it was happening then as well) also her councellor told her that 'not to run away from this and get it sorted for herself and don't let these bully's win and others will follow when they see that she is standing up for her rights and maybe other parents will come on board too'.
We will ring the principal and get the BOT number as well as writting to the police complaints authorities.
Thanks everyone for your support.
Will keep you updated... :)

I'll keep that. It will come in handy one day.:D:D:D

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11 years 10 months ago #340716 by smurfette
Replied by smurfette on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
Just remembered...concerning the txts ...was told that 'we don't really know if she was using the phone or one of her friends could have done it on her phone ( said by the 'boss cop') so they won't count'...won't tell you my hubbies reaction to that...hence the extra cop presents lol...

I'll keep that. It will come in handy one day.:D:D:D

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11 years 10 months ago #340718 by eelcat
Replied by eelcat on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
www.cyberbullying.org.nz/ and www.kidshealth.org.nz/index.php/ps_pagen...ontentpage/pi_id/298 are very useful sites especially the last one. How awful for your daughter and how awful for you too that the police don't take it seriously. All schools have an anti-bullying policy and so it should be taken seriously at that level too.

1 Border collie, 1 Huntaway, 2 Lhasa Apsos, Suffolk and arapawa ewe crosses, an Arapawa ram,an East Friesian ewe , 5 cats, 42 ducks , 1 rooster and 30 hens, 5 geese, 12 goats, 2 donkeys, 2 house cows, one heifer calf, one bull calf, 3 rabbits and lots and lots and lots of fruit trees...

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11 years 10 months ago #340720 by Jan
Replied by Jan on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
Try this website which is designed for cyber bulling which includes txt bulking. Hopefully it will be off some help.

www.netsafe.org.nz/keeping_safe.php?page...onID=young&menuID=67

Jan

______________________________________
North Wairarapa on 30 odd acres of paradise.
ahorseofcourseormaybetwo.blogspot.com/

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11 years 10 months ago #340729 by arnie.m
Replied by arnie.m on topic I'm sooooo angry !!!!!!!
If the harassing started at school it is the schools that needs to and is obliged to sort it no ifs, no buts. If they need to bring in the police they should.

arnie
88 Valley
Nelson

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