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17 years 7 months ago #5703 by Kiwi303
funny was created by Kiwi303
A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she
presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb
and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their
insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are
first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!

1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.

2. Strike while the...................................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before..................Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ....termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ....how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ....................looks dirty.

7. No news is...........................................impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a .......................Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ........math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ....stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ..................................me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ...........pigs.

13. An idle mind is..................................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ..........pollution.

15. Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is..............................not much.

17. Two's company, three's................... the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ......you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ..........you have to blow your nose

20. There are none so blind as ............Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ...spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ...........get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you ......see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind .......get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than................................pregnant.

You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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17 years 7 months ago #105382 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic funny
Oh! My!! That is bloody marvellous! We've just nearly all died laughing!

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17 years 7 months ago #105383 by jrp
Replied by jrp on topic funny
Ah, very good.

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16 years 9 months ago #419 by Kiwi303
Replied by Kiwi303 on topic funny

You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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15 years 7 months ago #13699 by rob
Replied by rob on topic funny
The Doctors Waiting Room
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'
'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'
'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.
The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.'
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose

Rob

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15 years 7 months ago #211036 by kathken
Replied by kathken on topic funny
:D :D :D that's funny.....love it.

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Reluctant Suburbanite Now

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15 years 7 months ago #211064 by sod
Replied by sod on topic funny
I think not being able to would be a good thing :p :D:D

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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14 years 1 month ago #21673 by rob
Replied by rob on topic funny
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay
of execution.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was
feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through t he door at home, his wife started on him
about, "What time of night to be getting home is this?
Where have you been? Dinner is cold.... And I'm not reheating it." And
on-and-on-and-on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured
himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the
bathtub.... Pursued by the predictable, sarcastic remarks as he dragged
himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told
that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of
execution, after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go
upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her
husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

He whirled around and screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER
STOP?!"

Rob

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13 years 10 months ago #22632 by pisa
Replied by pisa on topic Funny
I just got sent this and thought you might like to have a look [;)]

Hope this works!

Attached files
File Attachment:

1 hubby, 2 kids, 1 cat, 1 dog, 2 swallows and I've lost count how many offsprings with even more grandkids, 5 bunny girls, 5 bunny boys, 12 chickens (rooster, pullets, chicks and more about to hatch hopefully) and 4 goats with two of them expecting any day! (24.10.14)
But who's counting [;)]...

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13 years 10 months ago #325134 by DiDi
Replied by DiDi on topic Funny
:D Love that!

I was sent one yesterday that some on here will appreciate.

Attached files [IMG]http://app.lifestyleblock.co.nz/images/converted_files/311196=4942-Arse neighbour.jpg[/img]

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13 years 10 months ago #325138 by The Kats Place
Replied by The Kats Place on topic Funny
maybe not the best way to interest buyers, love the one about the bulls

kats
Live your life in such a way that it will be easy for people to say nice things at your funeral [;)]

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13 years 10 months ago #325152 by Stikkibeek
Replied by Stikkibeek on topic Funny

DiDi;311196 wrote: :D Love that!

I was sent one yesterday that some on here will appreciate.


Perhaps he doesn't want to sell but would like his neighbour to move out! :p

Did you know, that what you thought I said, was not what I meant :S

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13 years 10 months ago #325154 by Stikkibeek
Replied by Stikkibeek on topic Funny
How about this letter to the Editor.

Attached files

Did you know, that what you thought I said, was not what I meant :S

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13 years 10 months ago #325156 by sod
Replied by sod on topic Funny
Love the first one, hope second gets the message to the neighbour as SB said and third one is not funny:) just very very scarey as some do think like that.:( Thanks for them all:D

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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13 years 10 months ago #325159 by muletide
Replied by muletide on topic Funny

Stikkibeek;311217 wrote: How about this letter to the Editor.


I thought it was funny in a very sad way. I wonder how many big city people realy know what they are eating and how it is grown or "made"

Life is about the journey, not the destination


CHB

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