For people who understand cats

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14 years 6 months ago #2257 by Louimay
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Some Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

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14 years 6 months ago #70463 by Prim
Replied by Prim on topic For people who understand cats
Love it!!! Thanks for the smiles :)

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14 years 6 months ago #70467 by Dream Weaver
Great stuff.

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14 years 6 months ago #70470 by Finn McCool
*chuckle*

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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14 years 6 months ago #70483 by terralee
hehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leonie & Zoo!!! :silly: :woohoo:

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14 years 6 months ago #70510 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic For people who understand cats
Hahaaahahahahahaha! Good stuff!

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14 years 6 months ago #70590 by sod
Replied by sod on topic For people who understand cats
LOL now I understand!!!

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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14 years 6 months ago #70597 by The Kats Place
I think I have the cat who wrote that boarding with me at present!

kats
Live your life in such a way that it will be easy for people to say nice things at your funeral [;)]

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