One for Cat Dog lovers

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14 years 3 months ago #22026 by arnie.m
Ground rules: Pets and you

This person really knows cats!!

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and/or food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. However, do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. They also don't spray graffiti on the neighbours' fences, come home drunk, raid my purse or steal cars.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they

(1) Eat less.

(2) Don't ask for money all the time.

(3) Are easier to train.

(4) Normally come when called.

(5) Never ask to drive the car.

(6) Don't hang out with drug-using people.

(7) Don't smoke or drink.

(8) Don't want to wear your clothes.

(9) Don't have to buy the latest fashions.

(10) Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and

(11) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children ....[:0][:0]

arnie
88 Valley
Nelson

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14 years 3 months ago #317993 by sod
Replied by sod on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
LOVE IT must copy it who ever wrote it knows our "kids" so well :D:D:D:D

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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14 years 3 months ago #317995 by terralee
Replied by terralee on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
Oh so true[^][^][^] can relate to all of that ...having 3 cat childred and an only dog child currently living at home[;)]
Thanks :)

Leonie & Zoo!!! :silly: :woohoo:

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14 years 3 months ago #318002 by Hawkspur
Replied by Hawkspur on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
:D :D :D

Loved it
Especially the comment re: selling the kids![;)]

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14 years 3 months ago #318093 by Double8
Replied by Double8 on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
I work in a pet shop - that is so cool! :) I always say the cats have servants not owners! LOL 88

What am I? Fly paper for freaks?!

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14 years 3 months ago #318105 by sod
Replied by sod on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
Double 8 so do our dogs'(have servants too):D:D

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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14 years 3 months ago #318204 by Toast
Replied by Toast on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
Fantastic!

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Toast is the best food in the world
Whisky is the best drink in the world

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14 years 3 months ago #318211 by Stu_R
Replied by Stu_R on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
Its brilliant :)
and so dam true to :( lol lol :)

5 retired Greyhounds ( Bridgette , Lilly, GoGo,Sam and now Lenny) 15 friendly sheep all of whom are named and come when you call them :) , 2 goats, Mollie and Eee Bee :
Olive trees , .. old bugger doing the best he can with no money or land :)

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14 years 3 months ago #318330 by Ghilly
Replied by Ghilly on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
This reminds me of a series of books I am reading. Rita Mae Brown and Sneaky Pie Brown (her cat) have written a murder mystery series with the main characters, Mrs Murphy a tiger cat, Pewter, a gray cat, Tee Tucker a corgi, and their 'Mom' Mary Minor Harristein also know as 'Harry', the local post mistress, farmer and fox hunting enthusiast.

I might add, American fox hunting is not a blood sport. Once the fox goes to ground, the hunt is over and the foxes in these stories help with solving some of the cases.... all animals communicate, and some, even though they are usually prey, have certain agreements in place... well if you read one of the books you'll see what I mean.....

The books are 'who dunnit's' with Harry and her 'kids' as she calls them, solving the murders... with the help of the police of course....

Their are loads of characters that are included in all the stories.

Tucker, Murphy and Pewter try and get Harry to understand that they know something and get frustrated because Harry thinks with all the noise they are making they just want to go out to the toilet. They find ways of getting her to understand or making her go to certain places.

It is a murder mystery but it's also fun. Rita Mae Brown has a great sense of humour.... she mentioned in one book that Tucker was yodeling in the key of awful trying to get her attention, yodeling was one sound that made Harry take notice.

This low letter on the fridge is just the sort of thing Harry might do... or she'd say it to their faces. It's certainly something she'd point out to her visitors.... Fur....niture!

Yakut

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14 years 3 months ago #318402 by Stikkibeek
Replied by Stikkibeek on topic One for Cat Dog lovers
Here's a good one too.


Did you know, that what you thought I said, was not what I meant :S

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