fijian/indian engagement

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14 years 11 months ago #18744 by max2
we have been invited to a fijian/indian engagement celebration by work colleagues.
Normally for any engagement I would turn up with a selected piece of white dinnerware/servery ware from the maxwell/williams range if I don't know the couple very well, however this is my first FI invite and I suspect a first for the couple ''engaged'", I didn't even know the son had a girlfriend when he was shifted to aussie for a few weeks..... so suspect its an arranged thingo.

Not being One to know of cultural sensitivities, but aware we all live in NZ, is there anything (words of advice) that I should be aware of before we rock up for the event.

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14 years 11 months ago #277561 by Valmai
Replied by Valmai on topic fijian/indian engagement
Asking how they met or was it love at first sight might not be the best of opening lines.

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14 years 11 months ago #277569 by max2
Replied by max2 on topic fijian/indian engagement

Valmai;258324 wrote: Asking how they met or was it love at first sight might not be the best of opening lines.


I leave that in SOH's dept to continue to place both feet in his mouth at once and leave the event nonplussed....

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14 years 11 months ago #277575 by DiDi
Replied by DiDi on topic fijian/indian engagement
That's a tricky one swaggie. Is there anyone else at work you can ask? You certainly won't find any protocol on Google cause I searched out of interest. Other than that, give the Indian Association a ring (there is one in Pukekohe) and I'm sure they would be delighted to help you out.

Closest I have been was being invited to a birthday for a 1 year old Sikh indian child and that was huge. Booked out the local rugby club and not only did they have Indian food but an equal amount of Kiwi food. Really lovely night and I was glad I had gone - being terrified that the only menu would be hot and spicy which I don't do. Enjoy. I think you will find that you are catered for but the pressie thing - I wouldn't know.

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14 years 11 months ago #277582 by max2
Replied by max2 on topic fijian/indian engagement
I am culturally insensitive to know as to what religion and practices they follow. I know B doesn't have a ''dot'' which I believes gives a caste indication (please tell me if I am wrong) so do I call the indian consule or Fijian?
At work I am the one who has known them the longest as far as day to day contact goes. There is someone else (actually a couple) who had direct involvement earlier, but I doubt they know much more than what I have managed to glean myself....

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  • Jack
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14 years 11 months ago #277595 by Jack
Replied by Jack on topic fijian/indian engagement
Gidday

You are privilidged indeed to get that invite. If you cannot find out exactly what their custon is, just ask whoever gave you the invite.

When in Fiji once, I was invited to stay a night in one of their homes and the cultural exchange was just amazing.

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14 years 11 months ago #277616 by Simkin
Replied by Simkin on topic fijian/indian engagement
We've had very nice Fijian Indian neighbours and their daughter got married while they were living next door. The whole family went back to Fiji for the event and I was shown the photos afterwards.

The gifts that were exchanged between the families of the bride and groom were all home made things like little dolls - they had pictures showing their family members making those gifts. It was all very traditional. Some gifts were baked.

I think you are priviledged to witness an interesting cultural event. I don't think anyone can give you firm advice as long as you don't know the family's cast and asking for it is something I wouldn't do.

Has anyone else you know been invited? I've once been invited to a Malaysian wedding but there were 2 other colleagues invited, too, and the invitation had been handed out by the groom himself. So one of us asked the groom what he and his bride would like as a wedding present and - surprise surprise - they had a list at Farmers.

Maybe you could ask the person who gave you the invitation what the bride and groom would like as a wedding present and go from there.

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14 years 11 months ago #277637 by Ronney
Replied by Ronney on topic fijian/indian engagement
Well, I'll follow in SOH's footsteps and put both feet in it. Your not in Fiji or even India, your in NZ - and so are they! So what does that tell you? Sorry, but I'm not into being "culturaly sensitive" to people who choose to live in a country that is not their own and I don't much care if they are English, Irish, German, Danish, Somalian, Indian or Fijian. I'm quite sure none of them would give a fig about my culture if I were to transport myself elsewhere. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Ergo, do as you would for any other engagement in this country which is pretty much as Simkin has suggested.

Cheers,
Ronnie

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14 years 11 months ago #277643 by Telly
Replied by Telly on topic fijian/indian engagement
I too would be worrying about how to do the right thing. But realistically I'm sure they will understand and appreciate whatever you turn up with. They do live here so will know something about NZ wedding customs. I'm sure no one would be offended to get a thoughtful present, whatever their culture, unless it's something offensive or inappropriate - I'd say you're pretty safe with the maxwell williams [;)].

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14 years 11 months ago #277658 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic fijian/indian engagement

Ronney;258411 wrote: Well, I'll follow in SOH's footsteps and put both feet in it. Your not in Fiji or even India, your in NZ - and so are they! So what does that tell you? Sorry, but I'm not into being "culturaly sensitive" to people who choose to live in a country that is not their own and I don't much care if they are English, Irish, German, Danish, Somalian, Indian or Fijian. I'm quite sure none of them would give a fig about my culture if I were to transport myself elsewhere. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Ergo, do as you would for any other engagement in this country which is pretty much as Simkin has suggested.

Cheers,
Ronnie


MMmmm Thats interesting, so when the ABs do the Haka, and the opposition ( especially in other countries) show their respect by standing and watching it all, that kind of of tolerance and respect for other cultures is not to be shown here! Personally I've often wondered why other teams don't just turn their backs and walk away!! Perhaps that would considered far too rude!! On that subject why is it that the ABs don't put half as much gusto into singing their National Anthem as they do performing the Haka![:(!]

I'm sure it will be a lovely day Swaggie, it's always lovely to be able to experience other cultures. Just ask the person who sent you the invite if there is anything special you need to do, ie gifts etc. They've invited you so I'm sure they will be happy for you to share their day without you having to worry too much. But I dare say they will love that you have made a special effort.

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14 years 11 months ago #277662 by bev
Replied by bev on topic fijian/indian engagement
I have a brother inlaw who's a F-I.
They Love goat meat, and beef they will not touch, Will generally only eat males, because if its female it 'could' be pregnant and its against their 'ways'
They love kava, haha and their parties go for days. Just be yourself, they dont expect You to change to Their way

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14 years 11 months ago #277663 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic fijian/indian engagement
Ooh parties that last for days! Lovely jubbly! Bit like an Irish wedding then! lol

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14 years 11 months ago #277683 by NZ Appaloosas
Hmmm, my mother was first-generation American, with both parents arriving in New York from Ireland...is that why my wedding reception lasted for two whole days??? LOL

Diane


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14 years 11 months ago #277809 by max2
Replied by max2 on topic fijian/indian engagement
Found out some more info today, the young lady is indian, not fijian indian and the Parents of the Hubby to be are hosting the engagement party and letting the other side do the rest because they have choosen to let a lot of their customs go, and didn't want to offend either....

I think I will get my M & W serving bowl/plate etc and a nice card. Seems a safe bet and everyone needs serving stuff regardless.

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14 years 11 months ago #277838 by Jack
Replied by Jack on topic fijian/indian engagement
Gidday

Ronny I agree with what you said but if when going to something like a wedding or engagement of another totally different culture, you will benifit more from trying to fit in than not. It really is a great experience.

And Magies Mum, I am with you all the way about that rain dance.

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