Mid week funny! A Fairy Tale (Is it midweek already?)

  • maggies mum
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13 years 2 months ago #17792 by maggies mum
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would
perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first . The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:


What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was,
the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?


Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?//
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Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.



Now....what is the moral to this story?
The moral is.....
If
you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly





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13 years 2 months ago #264309 by devan
yep yep yep that is one hell of a wise man :D bet he doesn't put the toilet seat down tho [:0]

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing,and then they marry him.

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  • maggies mum
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13 years 2 months ago #264318 by maggies mum
Back then luv there wouldn't have been toilets seats, he'd have just piddled out the window!! :D:D:D:D

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13 years 2 months ago #264438 by powerguy
"Back then luv there wouldn't have been toilets seats, he'd have just piddled out the window!!"

Not quite true. They had Garderobes which were like chimneys let into the walls with an angles corridor linking them to the sleeping quarters. The nagles helped reduce draughts and hence the aroma from becoming too strong in the bedchamber! The garderaobe had a wooden seat which covered the stone hole and had a smaller hole cut into it, a bit like a traditional long drop, but these were a loooooong drop! No lid to close and the seat didn't lift so he couldn't have left the seat up!

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  • Jack
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13 years 2 months ago #264465 by Jack
Gidday

Well bugger me dead.

Here was me imagining old Maggiesmum in her castle standing redfaced by the window on a windy day.

Thanks Powerguy I think I will acept your explanation.

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13 years 2 months ago #264467 by Anne
So you really wouldn't want to use the downstairs loo aye?

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13 years 2 months ago #264484 by sod
And they had young lads who had to clean out the bottom :(

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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  • chooky
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13 years 2 months ago #264506 by chooky

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13 years 2 months ago #264508 by chooky
Clean out the bottom or your bottom ??[:0][:0][;)] :D [}:)]

www.bordeglobal.com/foruminv/index.php?act=ST&f=267&t=29926

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13 years 2 months ago #264529 by powerguy
I did see one castle that had flushing garderobes! They had constructed a huge stone cistern up in the roof and it was filled with rainwater. When the stink got too much they pulled a plug and it ran through channels built intot he walls and flushed the loos! Amazing stuff.

The stink was why they usually had three or four castles and would rotate around them. By the time they got back to no1 the smell had reduced enough for it to be habitable again.

Oh, the good old days!!

Too bad if you were a peasant and had the job of cleaning the place.

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  • maggies mum
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13 years 2 months ago #264532 by maggies mum
OOps my mistake! It was the Tudors that chucked it out the windows! :D:D:D:D:D

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13 years 2 months ago #264596 by sod
Chooky WELLLL all things are possable :Dat a price mind bogglesLOL

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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