Mid week funny!

Have a laugh you lot...go on ya know ya want to!



A blonde city girl marries a Qld cattle station owner

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, he says to Amy,
'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.
I drove a nail into the 4 x 2 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?

The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrivesand knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn.

They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him,'This is the one right here.'

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady,'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know this is the cow to be bred?'

'That's simple. By the nail over its stall,' Amy explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'

The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'

('Chalk up one for the Blonde!' . . It's nice to see a blonde winning one once in awhile.)

And another!

My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

http://by143w.bay143.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.154.121/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3df189e8c3-0f60-4980-a74d-8299943c7db6.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UwMDIyMi5qcGc_3d%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a363822CE57E84F1E8E47C2FDE84C6099%2540NealPC&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.118&d=d1152&mf=0&a=01_5644f40d64f16db1e29aa8c8aeec18cb27ecd519774c454e26ea4e487481089f

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

http://by143w.bay143.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.154.121/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d45157fa4-9997-4a4c-be68-05e60803f531.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UwMDExMS5qcGc_3d%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253aF86A65FEDAB5403697522B1420B0E4C8%2540NealPC&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.118&d=d1152&mf=0&a=01_5644f40d64f16db1e29aa8c8aeec18cb27ecd519774c454e26ea4e487481089f

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'








My condition has been upgraded from critical
to stable, and I should eventually make a full recovery

..... and the punchline is ??

Shurrup! It's there now! mutter mutter bloomin' compootahs!

Great stuff MM - where on earth do you get these jokes from ??

I dunno, some random sends me them!

Random nut case I would say !![][}][]

Absolutley, I'd block 'em but dunno how!

The Interview for Radio

The interview was as follows:

The Lady Reporter: 'Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?'
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: 'Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?'
Reporter (obviously embarrassed): 'Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?'
Farmer: 'And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?'
Reporter: 'Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?'
Farmer: 'I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?'

The program was never aired.....

they're from the farming mags

My turn.



Anger Management

Husband:When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
Wife:I clean the toilet...
Husband:How does that help?

Wife:I use your toothbrush..

:D:D:D

[:0]

Love then a good laugh is so good

LMAO...so funny...love the mad cow theori one

Good to see some laughter on here...