Beware, old men!

An elderly, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side.

He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000," he said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque clears so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon," he said.

On Monday morning, the jeweller 'phoned the old man and said "Sir, there's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend!"
All Seniors Aren't Senile

One day Little Susie's mother was out and her dad was in charge. Little Susie was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given her a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of Susie's favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, Susie's mum came home. Her dad made her wait in the living room to watch Little Susie bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Susie's mom waited, and sure enough, there came Susie, down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says (as only a mother would know...) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the the toilet."

Diane