Fishing anyone?

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13 years 6 months ago #16183 by organicltd
Fishing anyone? was created by organicltd
DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING

Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole,
just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, "I think I'm
going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You
better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

Wine does not make you FAT it makes you LEAN...
....against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

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13 years 6 months ago #243846 by Isla
Replied by Isla on topic Fishing anyone?
Oh goody, let's see how many sexist jokes we can fit in before Xmas.

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13 years 6 months ago #243874 by chooky
Replied by chooky on topic Fishing anyone?
Okay - you're are on !![:0][;)]

Why some men have dogs and not wives [}:)][}:)]





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13 years 6 months ago #243877 by cowmad
Replied by cowmad on topic Fishing anyone?
here a Xmas one!!

>>REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
>>
>>According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while
>>both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each
>>year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter,
>>usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their
>>antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
>>
>>Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's
>>reindeer, they all had antlers so...
>>
>>EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
>>
>>We should've known...
>>
>>ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit
>>all the way around the world in one night and not get lost.
>>
>>

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13 years 6 months ago #243891 by sod
Replied by sod on topic Fishing anyone?
:D:D:D:D keep it up please love them all

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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13 years 6 months ago #243905 by chooky
Replied by chooky on topic Fishing anyone?
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.

What did God say when he created Adam?
I can do better than this.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?

What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.

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13 years 6 months ago #243929 by organicltd
Replied by organicltd on topic Fishing anyone?
And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust...'

And then the fight started...

======================================================================

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom scales.

And then the fight started...

====================================================================

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....

so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

====================================================================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend...
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

===========================================================

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

============================================================================

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf "

Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

Wine does not make you FAT it makes you LEAN...
....against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

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13 years 6 months ago #244087 by Anne
Replied by Anne on topic Fishing anyone?

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