And that's when the fight started....

I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. 'Honey? What's wrong' I asked.

'Oh, George! Just look at me: I'm getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I'm just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!'
I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: 'Your vision's real good, honey. That's something, isn't it?'
And that's when the fight started....
- - -
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started....
******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She was my senior year girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....
*********************************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....
***********************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
***************************************

very good