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13 years 9 months ago #14756 by rob
joke, honest was created by rob
Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be open when she brings it.


Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?


Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.


Why do women have smaller feet than men?


It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'


How do you fix a woman's watch?


You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


Why do men pass gas more than women?


Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.


If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?


The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?


A woman who won't do what she's told.


I married a Miss Right...


I just didn't know her first name was Always.

!

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.


It's called a Wedding Cake.


Why do men die before their wives?


They want to.


Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!


Rob

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  • chooky
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13 years 9 months ago #225980 by chooky
Replied by chooky on topic joke, honest
Yeah - I can handle it [}:)][}:)]

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13 years 9 months ago #225997 by sod
Replied by sod on topic joke, honest
Sound great must pass on to my daughter :) wife has just read it,loved it(I hope that aint a bad thing????)

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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13 years 9 months ago #226007 by kindajojo
Replied by kindajojo on topic joke, honest
well if you are going to be that way try these::::: :D

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7... HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favourite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
and
laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart

A good laugh will do that for you.
One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends', I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma

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13 years 9 months ago #226014 by rob
Replied by rob on topic joke, honest
oh that hurt :D

Rob

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13 years 9 months ago #226016 by sod
Replied by sod on topic joke, honest
:D:D":D must send that one too

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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  • maggies mum
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13 years 9 months ago #226017 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic joke, honest
You poor chaps will never get the upper hand ya know! And you'll never ever get the last word!

:D:D:D:D:D:D

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13 years 9 months ago #226666 by lea
Replied by lea on topic joke, honest
:D ;D

Living on our 5 acres of land. Busy fencing and planting. Have dogs, cats and chickens. We also have cattle, sheep, goats, and geese.
Full-time working + plus full-time on the block. [|)]

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