A refuse collector is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins
And emptying them into his dustcart. He goes to one house where the bin
Hasn't been left out, so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back Of
the house, but still can't see it. So, against the rules of the Refuse
collector's code but in the spirit of kindness, he knocks on the Door.
There's no answer.
Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Japanese bloke comes to the door.
'Harro!' says the Japanese chappie.
'Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?' asks the collector
'I bin on toiret' explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the little foreign fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man
Smiles and tries again.
'No mate, where's your dust bin?'.
'I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man -
'Listen,' says the collector.
'You're misunderstanding me. Where's your *w h e e l I e* bin?'
'Ok. Ok ' replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin.
' I wheelie bin havin sex wirra wife's sister.........!'
1 Border collie, 1 Huntaway, 2 Lhasa Apsos, Suffolk and arapawa ewe crosses, an Arapawa ram,an East Friesian ewe , 5 cats, 42 ducks , 1 rooster and 30 hens, 5 geese, 12 goats, 2 donkeys, 2 house cows, one heifer calf, one bull calf, 3 rabbits and lots and lots and lots of fruit trees...
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is
usually the husband.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I
should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a
short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I
came out again I handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass,"
I said, "you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Wine does not make you FAT it makes you LEAN...
....against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.