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15 years 8 months ago #204764 by betenoir
Replied by betenoir on topic a BIG Thankyou!
DiDi, I think most of us on here care and would smtimes like to do more to help eachother if we didnt have our own problems to deal with. ..sometims just knowing people would like to help is enough to tide somone over a bad patch

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] BAAAAAAAAA

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15 years 8 months ago #204787 by lea
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I am so sorry to hear about your partner. I have been through the same hell. My hubbie had cancer and I had to take weeks off work to support him.
We pay for both ACC and health system through our wages. Surely they should be equal. I did not know about that site and I have signed the petiton.
Remember to take care of yourself as well. Thinking of you both and you family.

Living on our 5 acres of land. Busy fencing and planting. Have dogs, cats and chickens. We also have cattle, sheep, goats, and geese.
Full-time working + plus full-time on the block. [|)]

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15 years 8 months ago #204793 by Louise W
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Love and Hugs Suz - Like a few others, I had no idea. All the very best to you and yours from us xxx


TALISMAN FARM

Home of 'TF Hamish'and 'Crossiebeg Brennan' and where we are 'breeding extraordinary horses for ordinary riders'

25 acres of beautiful rolling pastures in the heart of the wonderful Wairarapa.

NixPixArt and Talisman Farm
or join us on FACEBOOK

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15 years 8 months ago #205115 by Twinmills
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Suzanne what area do you live in as if anywhere near me and there is anything at all i can do i am only a phone call away. It would be a pleasure to help you

Me and
sheep
Chooks
dog[:D][:D]

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15 years 8 months ago #205325 by Hestia
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If you have bad heart burn, do not trust your gp and use the cheap medication.Demand to get the expensive medication and a gastroscopy done.Heart burn can burn so cancer developes in the throath in height with diafragma. You do not feel it until your throath is totally blocked and it then goes fast. You loose weight fast when not being able to eat at all during the time it takes to diagnose and get help. Then chemo therapy for a couple of months to shrink the tumour to be able to eat and gain weight.During chemo you get so sick so you can't eat anyhow. Then big surgery, remove all of belly and half the throat. surgery so big so no additional surgery can ever be done. After this you can only eat a few table spoons each meal and get a violent insuline kick at every meal. Now a additional chemo therapy for a couple of months that makes you not be able to gain any weight.Since cancer grow silent in throat it has most of the times developed and spread and it will be new cancer within a few months or a year.Almost none with this diagnose and surgery makes it more than 3 years.I appreciate all help I have been offered but I feel embaressed.It is hard when you have no family here.Wish all kiwis had a inbuilt support system like acc for cases like this.Please all sign up on the link I provided in my first post.Hopefully there will be some kind of support in the future so no more people have to go thru this.Most mortgage sales in NZ are because of long term or terminal illness.Where do these people end up after that? I do not want to know!Yes, we should all have insurences but most people on low income can not afford that.Once again thanks all of you! :)

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15 years 8 months ago #205327 by maggies mum
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Aww Suzanne it really is an evil disease. My cousin had nursed her husband for the last 6 years, initially after a bad accident. It didn't take long before he developed prostate cancer, sadly he died at the weekend. She gave up work to look after him and now will probably be very lost without him for a long time. She's very lucky in that she has had the support of her family and will continue to have their support after the funeral on Monday. He will leave a big hole in life, he was a bloody fantastic guy who will be sorely missed.
Suzanne you may not have the support of your bio family, but you do have the support of your cyber family, so don't you go and feel embarrassed abut asking for help!! We would like to in other ways if we can, please just say. Because you never know one of us may be in a situation one day when we might need you. So please ask for and accept help if you need it, you can pay it forward one day.

Thinking of you both.

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15 years 8 months ago #205332 by Dream Weaver
Replied by Dream Weaver on topic a BIG Thankyou!
Suzanne you may not have the support of your bio family, but you do have the support of your cyber family, so don't you go and feel embarrassed abut asking for help!! We would like to in other ways if we can, please just say. Because you never know one of us may be in a situation one day when we might need you. So please ask for and accept help if you need it, you can pay it forward one day.

Brilliantly said MM. Yes Suzanne if you do need help, please ask. Like MM says who knows who may need your help one day. I know it must be an extremely hard thing to have to ask someone for help, but there are alot of wonderful and careing people on here. I am sure some of these people may at some time or another be going through some sort of private hell of there own and not ask for help. But when its something like what you are going through a little help may go along way.
Our thoughts are with you both.

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15 years 8 months ago #205336 by reggit
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Never feel embarassed asking for help, Suzanne, as others have said, 'pay it forward' is a good way to look at it :D - what goes around, comes around.

Take a break...while I take care of your home, your block, your pets, your stock! [;)] PM me...

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15 years 8 months ago #205425 by Twinmills
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:) Tigger is right WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. In some case people cant give money to help but are more that willing to give in other ways. Having been it that situation before i know its hard to ask but WE WOULDNT BE OFFERING if we didnt care :) :) :D [8D]:rolleyes::rolleyes::cool:

Me and
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Chooks
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15 years 8 months ago #205428 by The Kats Place
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Any time Suzanne, just say the word and we will be over to help - anything you need, garden, animals, driving hubby, whatever we can help with. I'm away till monday but will email you then. Would love to help.

kats
Live your life in such a way that it will be easy for people to say nice things at your funeral [;)]

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15 years 8 months ago #205431 by betenoir
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Same from here...don't feel embarassed or anything about asking for help...we're all big enough and vocal enough to say no. I've been in a similar situation to you (unexpectedly left to deal with everything on my own) and I had a lot of unasked for help from friends and neighbours. I'm not to far away so just PM if you need an extra pair of hands. Like someone earlier said..what goes around comes around

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15 years 8 months ago #205443 by betenoir
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Same here..don't be embarassed about asking for help...we're all big enough and vocal enough to say no :p Been in a similar position and I wouldn't have survived for long without the for help of a few good neighbours. I'm not far away so feel fre to PM me if you ned a hand with anything that will ease the pressure on you ..from dog walking to dehorning highland cattle :p

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] BAAAAAAAAA

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15 years 8 months ago #205728 by Simkin
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Hi Suzanne,

I'm very sorry to read about your plight - I didn't have the faintest idea either. I hope your partner will improve again after his second lot of chemo - chemo takes so much out of the body.

Regarding the financial impact: As far as I know you can get reimbursement for travel costs if you live outside a certain radius of the hospital. Not much at current petrol prices but better than nothing.

Also - when I was made redundant - together with 150 others (because the company I worked for was sold to the Aussies), many of my colleagues got money from WINZ to be able to continue paying their mortgages off. That was several years ago so I'm not sure whether this still is the case (back then a sickness benefit was a bit more than an unemployment benefit, too).

Also there is home help available, up to twice a week and its free. A friend of mine does that kind of work and it's only a matter of asking for it - at the hospital they should have someone who assesses your partner etc. This service is mainly cleaning but still - maybe worth investigating.

Maybe someone else has more recent experiences?

If your partner needs medicines that are not fully funded you can get financial help, too. It all depends on your income - and if it is very little at the moment you should be entitled to quite a lot of help. A pharmacist should know how to apply for it.

There are quite a few avenues available and most people don't know about them (and those who receive usually keep quiet). It also is a major hassle to apply for several different things, each at a different place.

If you'd like to know a few more details please pm me - I'd have to make a few phone calls during the week but I'm quite sure I'll be able to find out what's available at the moment. I also don't know what you already have investigated.

Take care.

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15 years 8 months ago #205749 by maggies mum
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Actually Simkin that's a very good point you've raised there, there obviously are ways of getting extra financial help. Worth following up Suzanne.

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15 years 8 months ago #205763 by Hestia
Replied by Hestia on topic a BIG Thankyou!
Thanks guys! :)

I got to know that there is some kind of travel allowance to be claimed.
Got to know about it last week, we have now been on this for more than 6 months and I will have hard to find all dates and different doctors and x-rays and surgeries and visiting nurse and all he has been on to even fill in the form, working on it but not sure if my 50km one way to hospital will be enough even though we some weeks have been in 5 days a week.
I even asked if district nurse could top up his pump once a day instead of us driving 100km every day, we got a no to that!!!!

I have been in contact with some other people with long term/terminal illness and when I contacted winz thru an e-mail I did get to know that my pay is too high to get any support. (if you earn more than 20-22k(?) per year it is hard to get one single dollar)
I tried to get a community card but my income that is more than 20-22k per year did not allow him to get that.
when you are at this stage as we are you just have no power.
You need to be having heaps of time and health and no worries to claim and get support

The case study for equity for illness has this on their web site:

Case Studies Grant: (Cancer) Grant, (aged 47) is married with three children. If he was covered by a system with ACC’s entitlements, 80% of his previous salary would be paid while he recuperated, or if necessary, for life. Under the Ministry of Health’s eligibility criteria there is no such allowance. WINZ does provide a sickness benefit at the rate of $144.92 p/wk but given he was in fulltime employment prior to his diagnosis, it can hardly be considered an equitable or sustainable income replacement.
Note: The 2003 / 2004 census identified that an average New Zealand *family (*two adults with children) spends $888.00 per week to live. In 2007 the cost must be higher. This suggests that Grant's family are in a most serious financial situation as well as having to deal with his cancer.

"""""""""""""""""""""""'

Grant was the family provider and his wife was home with the kids, she now has to work part time and look after sick husband and kids (my note)

Most mortgage sales in NZ are because of that the owner of the house has got a long term/terminal illness.
It is not just and only loss of one income it is extra additional costs.
When you are that bad out then you only have council provided flats to go to and have to declare that you own nothing.

For your own future and your family and kids future please sign your support for equity for illness!

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