MEATY BITE DIET

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14 years 2 weeks ago #13197 by maggies mum
MEATY BITE DIET was created by maggies mum
I've got 3 dogs.

I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Woolworths and was standing in line at the check-out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her, no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my arse and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Silly cow...why else would I buy dog food?? :D

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14 years 1 week ago #203628 by Birman Babe
Replied by Birman Babe on topic MEATY BITE DIET
:D You are so naughty !!

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14 years 1 week ago #203629 by Pumpkingirl
Replied by Pumpkingirl on topic MEATY BITE DIET
MM, one of these days someone will take you seriously and you'll end up in a padded room :D :D

That is so funny :D

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14 years 1 week ago #203630 by rob
Replied by rob on topic MEATY BITE DIET
MM, i am [:0] at your comments, do you know how many halfwits that are out there who would believe you.:rolleyes:
do you realise you could make millions with this NEW found diet, videos/DVDs and world tours and all the top models would be on it.[;)]

enjoy your trip and dont eat the meat, you dont want to end up on Boston Legal, mad cow :D :D

Rob

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14 years 1 week ago #203631 by PRU2
Replied by PRU2 on topic MEATY BITE DIET
Hahahahahah......... :D ..............Hahahahah

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14 years 1 week ago #203633 by PRU2
Replied by PRU2 on topic MEATY BITE DIET
You remind me so much of my mum (in a nice kinda way), She had the same quick wit.
I so wish I had that talent, alas I always think of something after .......

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14 years 1 week ago #203636 by sod
Replied by sod on topic MEATY BITE DIET
:p :p :D:eek:lead us not into temptation or eejits love it:confused::rolleyes:

Having time is a measure of enthusiasm:rolleyes:

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14 years 1 week ago #203638 by rob
Replied by rob on topic MEATY BITE DIET
a padded room or the beehive

Rob

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14 years 1 week ago #203645 by Finn McCool
Replied by Finn McCool on topic MEATY BITE DIET
Oh MM that is so bloody funny I wish I'd been there to see it. Thanks for the laugh I needed it :D

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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14 years 1 week ago #203653 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic MEATY BITE DIET
Ah guys thanks, but I have to admit it didn't happen to me really, but it's one of those lifetime things that I wish would! I got it in an email this morning! But then there's still time..............muhahahahahah ;)

Hey rob, someone at last that watched Boston Legal, I love that programme!

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14 years 1 week ago #203670 by rob
Replied by rob on topic MEATY BITE DIET
mm,

been watching it for quite a while, the writing/acting is brilliant, one of the best items to come out of the states.

Rob

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14 years 1 week ago #203674 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic MEATY BITE DIET
I think though according to BD that the one we saw last in the series was the last ever!

That will be so sad if it was.

It's a great series so clever and I loved the characters, totally dysfunctional clever people!

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14 years 1 week ago #203685 by rob
Replied by rob on topic MEATY BITE DIET
i hope not, :( if so i would like to see it from the start :D

Rob

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14 years 1 week ago #204017 by Birman Babe
Replied by Birman Babe on topic MEATY BITE DIET
:D SNAP MM..just rec'd this via email from friend in Oz

Dog Biscuits

I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of dog biscuits and was standing in line at the check-out.

A woman asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting a dog biscuits diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

Everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a chap who was behind the woman.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my penis and a car hit me.

I thought one man was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so much as he staggered out of the door.

Stupid bitch, would I buy dog food if I did not have a dog?

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14 years 1 week ago #204047 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic MEATY BITE DIET
Hehe it's good eh! :) I've had it a couple of times before it does the rounds every so often

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