Basic rules for cats who have a house to run.

1 DOOR
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and scratch with forepaws. Once the door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. Stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is very important during very cold weather, rain, and snow.

2 GUESTS
Quickly determine which guests hate cats the most. Sit on their laps. if you can arrange to have jellimeat on your breath, so much the better.
For rubbing against trouser legs, select fabric colour which contrasts well with fur. For example: white-furred cats go to black wool clothing.
Treat guests who claim I love kitties with disdain, apply claws to stockings, or use a quick nip to the ankle.
When walking among dishes on the dinner table, look surprised and hurt when scolded. Convey the idea But you allow me on the table when company isnt here.

3 WORK
If one of your humans is busy sewing or writing and another is idle. stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering. Following are rules for hampering:
a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and you stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled.
b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

4 MEALS
When fed, always act disappointed. Sniff at the food a little, then walk away. never drink from your water dish. Drink from the shower box instead.

5 PLAY
Get enough sleep in the daytime, so you are fresh for running around and jumping on your humans' bed between 2.00am and 4.00am. This is also a good time to practice meowing loudly.
Begin training early. You will then have a smooth running household. Humans need to know the basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.

Our cat sent you these rules didn't she?

Mine are working to those principles and have us well trained! Sigh!

Our two are also following those rules, and its nothing to have a foot poking you on the nose in the middle of the night, just to say, get up and talk to me! We got our little girl cat (Sooty) fixed on monday and that night she would not leave me alone, and wanted to be patted and cuddled for hours. But its the 3.30 wakeups that can get you, as once awake its hard to go asleep. The boy (Tiger) who is actually sootys uncle is currently on the computer table helping me type this. Its also the early mornings when he brings in rabbits, or she brings in mice that make an entertaining night for us.

I've got an 18 year old cat that is driving me insane at the mo, reckon he's losing his marbles, he just doesn't shut up!!!

no. 5 was us this morning at 2.00am, had a cat fight on my side of the bed as to who was going to sit next to me...

Spent the next 30 minutes watching the end of No.2 the Kiwi movie, trying to work it out.

mm,
i thought our cat who is 18 was a one off, he comes into the house and just sits and cries, i dont know if he is going deaf, blind or nuts or maybe all 3. he can be sitting about a metre away and cries, hope i dont go like that.:eek:

Flippin' 'eck rob do ya think they are related?? Doesn't it drive ya barmy??

rob it's quite likely that either you, me or both of us will end up like that!

The neighbour's cat at our Lynfield house, used to go outside and yowl in a most painful and aggrevied fashion. It would go on for ages. His owner would go outside to find out what was wrong with the cat and it wouldn't be anything. He'd just be howling in that ear-spliting Siamese way they have. The old cat was 19 and had gone senile I reckon. Drove his Humans crazy and had me running outside to see if he'd met with an accident, on more than one occasion. The poor old thing had a stroke one night and they had to have him put down. Most upsetting for them.

Our cat is only 8 years old and he's already wandering around the house yelling for my Brother, at times. He likes to sit on his lap and gets most aggreived if his sleeping arrangements aren't ready for him when he feels like a nap. Heaven help us when he gets even older !

Thankfully he's grown to accomodate the presence of Dog. He just ignores Dog now.

inger,
use one water bottle and squirt hard, it works on our 18 year old,( the cat)

I was tempted to use a firemans hose on ours!

i always said no dogs or cats stay in at night, i felt sorry for the old cat so he is in at night, he even puts himself to bed, i must be going soft

Imagine what it's like in our house with 3 dogs and 3 cats in the house!!

Some mornings I wake up and the little buggers have snuck up onto the bed and I have taken on the position of some contortionist!

I've got one too!!!!!!! My older girl (dunno how old cos she just turned up one day, but i've had her nearly 10 years) comes inside and then sits there and howls! If i call out she will follow my voice and find me, but man what a racket!!!!!! Shes probably only done it for about the last 6 months, she is getting on tho, she has that kinda manky scraggly old look about her (bit like me in the mornings)
Mines black...witches cat maybe? lol trying to find her broomstick []

One of my oldies is getting incontinent Just little leaks here and there.

Bugger it all.