Being a Kiwi

  • chooky
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15 years 7 months ago #12222 by chooky
Being a Kiwi was created by chooky
Being a New Zealander is about driving in a European car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, whilst travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most NZ thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in NZ can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in NZ do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their panadol, lemsip etc while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in NZ do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only inNZ do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in NZ do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in NZ do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
NOT TO MENTION...

1 New Zealander dies each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

42 New Zealanders were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

22 New Zealanders are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

5 New Zealanders have died since 1994 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

New Zealand Hospitals reported 2 broken or dislocated arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

Around50 New Zealanders are burnt each year ironing their clothes while still wearing them

9 New Zealanders had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new tops with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive143 New Zealanders were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth

And finally...

In 2003---14 New Zealanders were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

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15 years 7 months ago #189671 by Inger
Replied by Inger on topic Being a Kiwi
I want to see the written reports before I believe most of those Chooky. :)
45 hectares between Whangarei and Paparoa. Registered Dexter cattle, Wiltshire sheep - black, white & pied.
New Hampshire Red poultry & Dorking poultry. Pilgrim Geese, Appleyard Ducks.
A cat called Pusscat and still looking for another heading dog.

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  • maggies mum
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15 years 7 months ago #189674 by maggies mum
Replied by maggies mum on topic Being a Kiwi
Hahahaha!

Chooky it would seem that the very same happens in the UK too!

;)

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15 years 7 months ago #189692 by max2
Replied by max2 on topic Being a Kiwi

Inger;161952 wrote: I want to see the written reports before I believe most of those Chooky. :)


I believe the diet coke one, got Kiwi family (diabetics too) to prove it!:rolleyes:

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15 years 7 months ago #189694 by Lost Triceratops
Replied by Lost Triceratops on topic Being a Kiwi
When I first saw it... it all happened in the US of A (hence entirely more believable lol) :p [8D]
Are you Happy?...
Yes????
Well notify your fecking face ya miserable lookin sod!

“Add life to your days, not days to your life.”

"Live life as if every day is your last, one day you will be right".

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15 years 7 months ago #189702 by Kiwi303
Replied by Kiwi303 on topic Being a Kiwi
numbers are slightly different from the US one, but I'd suspect it's just a NZ switch for US, theres similiar for UK, Aussie, canuks, etc...
You Live and Learn, or you don't Live Long -anon

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